I've always made fun of my friend Killy because he's really sensitive to certain times of the year. Usually it's "This weather reminds me of this or that ex-girlfriend" and I've never given it much attention. Funny thing it is finding out I'm not that different. Perhaps it's because I've never had anything too important to remember, but the last years I've been having funny feelings around this time of the year.
3 years ago I had this really ugly foot operation. I was born with two pairs of bones fused together, and on July 2003 I decided I was tired of being constantly on pain and had a surgery. The surgery was really messy since the docs had to cut the bones, insert my muscles betweeen them, and I had to start moving my foot right away so the bones didn't fuse together again.
The doctors said it would be pretty painful, but I never expected it to be so bad. The first month was quite easy, but the second was living hell. Not only the physical torments of rehab, but I also got really depressed during that time from not being able to walk. I remember waking up in tears because I had dreams about walking, and in those dreams I always reminded myself I couldn't do it. I never really thought about suicide seriously, but back then...
It's funny how music can cheer you up, and really funnier if you think about my case. Around September or October 2003, Lia (my favourite Japanese singer) released a single with Key. The song was cheerful and even though I could barely stand, it made me want to dance. I still remember the first time I listened to it, when I noticed the phrase "arukidasu tsuyosa ga hoshii" (I want the strenght to start walking), and it hit me: I had never put it in words before.
One Saturday, a few weeks later, I was blasting the song and dancing while honding on to my dresser. I asked myself: "Perhaps I could...?" and I placed my foot on the floor and slowly took a step. The pain killed me, but after the first one, I had to take another. And another. "Hey guys, look at this" I shouted to my parents as I slowly walked towards the living room.
That song's name? Spica.
3 years ago I had this really ugly foot operation. I was born with two pairs of bones fused together, and on July 2003 I decided I was tired of being constantly on pain and had a surgery. The surgery was really messy since the docs had to cut the bones, insert my muscles betweeen them, and I had to start moving my foot right away so the bones didn't fuse together again.
The doctors said it would be pretty painful, but I never expected it to be so bad. The first month was quite easy, but the second was living hell. Not only the physical torments of rehab, but I also got really depressed during that time from not being able to walk. I remember waking up in tears because I had dreams about walking, and in those dreams I always reminded myself I couldn't do it. I never really thought about suicide seriously, but back then...
It's funny how music can cheer you up, and really funnier if you think about my case. Around September or October 2003, Lia (my favourite Japanese singer) released a single with Key. The song was cheerful and even though I could barely stand, it made me want to dance. I still remember the first time I listened to it, when I noticed the phrase "arukidasu tsuyosa ga hoshii" (I want the strenght to start walking), and it hit me: I had never put it in words before.
One Saturday, a few weeks later, I was blasting the song and dancing while honding on to my dresser. I asked myself: "Perhaps I could...?" and I placed my foot on the floor and slowly took a step. The pain killed me, but after the first one, I had to take another. And another. "Hey guys, look at this" I shouted to my parents as I slowly walked towards the living room.
That song's name? Spica.
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cuando saldra :/
espero ke pronto!!
besos besos