spewy309289

Do you ever get the feeling where it's like you're waiting for something to happen, or you're just lying in bed thinking that there's something else you should be doing with your life... somethingimportant but you don't know what? I find myself lying awake a lot nowadays or just feeling a general restlessness and detachment from things. It's gotten worse in the past few months since breaking up with my girlfriend of nearly 3 years. There's just so much silence now. Breaking up was a horrible experience, I've never really done it before... I guess if I've taken anything away from it it's that I'll never take someone for granted again, and if I'm ever lucky enough to meet someone stupid enought to go out with me again I'll try to trasure every day that I get to spend with them, because one day you could wake up and they could just be gone.

I went back to work this week. My job is as boring as everyone else's. There's nothing really wrong with it apart from the usual shit. There's nothing great about it either. I'm grateful that I'm able to earn money for food and rent and that I get to come home at the end of the day and do whatever I want. It's that free time at the end of the day that frustrates me though. I feel like I'm under pressure to do something creative, or at least try to, but whatever I do, be it trying to write or play guitar, I quickly get bored and the restlessness comes over me. It's almost like I'm waiting for someone to tell me that what I'm doing is the right thing in terms of having a hobby. I wish I had a passion for something, something to get me out of bed in the morning and something to look forward to doing at the end of the day after work. But there's nothing really... just the restless feeling...