Alright, so I stop in at Staples to pick up some posterboard and an X-acto knife. I'm going to try to make an SG stencil for signs for the Campout. I grab that stuff and I notice that they have photo printer paper and ink. I browse what they have with the thoughts that maybe I can get it cheaper than at the camera store and without the wait of buying online.
Over in the toner/ink aisles they have quite a large selection of printer inks, well, except for the ones for my new printer. I was a bit disappointed but then I notice these signs all over the place loudly proclaiming that they will have the ink I need and touting their In Stock Guarantee.
Now, normally I would have just schluffed those signs off and not paid any attention to them. These however were hard to ignore due to the fact that they were everywhere. Not just small placards placed discretely but horribly large signs printed with 4” fonts in multiple gaudy colors, most of them almost stretching four feet in length with one behemoth standing a majestic THREE FEET HIGH!
I flagged down a sales associate as asked her what the guarantee entailed. She told me that they were guaranteeing that they would have the ink cartridge I needed or they would give me $10 off the ink purchase when it came in. Hmmmmmm, a diabolical plan began to form in my little pea brain……..I have 8 different cartridges full of ink in my printer. Individual cartridges cost $15 a piece. Stay with me now, since they stocked NONE of the ink I needed I schemed that all I had to do was to ask for a cartridge, say CYAN and when they didn’t have it in stock VIOLA! I could get ten bucks off of it and pick it up for a five spot! Brilliant!
But wait, there’s more……
Then, the next day, I could go in looking for, say MAGENTA and when they didn’t have that VIOLA! Another five buck ink cartridge! It was foolproof. What could possibly go wrong?
I quickly sprang my plan in to action on the first unsuspecting customer service drone to walk by. GOTCHA! Sure enough, he looked, they didn’t have it and when he searched the database online it was at the warehouse! Boom baby, I’m in! Oh yea!
At this point he turned to me and said “Looks like we have it in the warehouse, I can order it and have it here by tomorrow.” I said “That’s fine, now how about the in stock guarantee?” “Will I need a voucher for it?”.
He looks at me and states: “The in stock guarantee is only on cartridges that we don’t have in stock, I’m showing some in stock at the warehouse, I can have then here tomorrow for you.”
“What??!!” “Of course you have it in stock somewhere. You’re at multi billion dollar grossing, multi national franchised chain of big box retail stores. You’ve got hundreds of retail outlets and probably many dozen multi acre warehouses. Of course you’re going to have them in stock somewhere!” “Duh.” “That doesn’t do me a whole lot of good now does it? If I wanted to order them and get them tomorrow I could do that from the comfort of my own home, hell, according to you, technically you wouldn’t have to stock anything, you could just take my order and then place your order with Epson and they could have one here tomorrow.” “What good does that do me now?”.
He looks at me and states: “The in stock guarantee is only on cartridges that we don’t have in stock, I’m showing some in stock at the warehouse, I can have then here tomorrow for you.”
I in turn say “Doesn’t that make your guarantee foolproof and just a wee bit gimmicky?” “In fact, it seems to be dangerously bordering on the old Bait-and-Switch routine!.”
He looks at me and states: “The in stock guarantee is only on cartridges that we don’t have in stock, I’m showing some in stock at the warehouse, I can have then here tomorrow for you.”
Yep, I’m getting no where with this one. Time to ditch him and go up the food chain. I say “OK, thanks” and trundle off to pay for my purchase. Which I do, and then stand there at the end of the checkout aisle scanning for the ever elusive “manager”.
Just my luck, one wanders by close enough to where I have no need to pull out my tranquilizer gun. I run through the same spiel with him explaining the situation and reiterating my extreme disappointment in their deceptive signage. He rears back and says “Well, just to head off any hard feeling and to calm the situation down, why don’t I just give you a $10 off voucher for the cartridge you are looking for and you can order it online and get the discount?” Hmmmmm I muse, not fully what I wanted but better than nothing. I told him that I wasn’t looking to be difficult (yea, right) and I wasn’t looking for a discount (yea, right) I merely wanted to inform him of how disappointed I was and how mislead I felt over their false claims. Sigh……
Then I graciously accepted the $10 off voucher and began making plans to come back when there was a different manager on duty and to road trip over to the Staples in Kalamazoo and pull the same routine!
Over in the toner/ink aisles they have quite a large selection of printer inks, well, except for the ones for my new printer. I was a bit disappointed but then I notice these signs all over the place loudly proclaiming that they will have the ink I need and touting their In Stock Guarantee.
Now, normally I would have just schluffed those signs off and not paid any attention to them. These however were hard to ignore due to the fact that they were everywhere. Not just small placards placed discretely but horribly large signs printed with 4” fonts in multiple gaudy colors, most of them almost stretching four feet in length with one behemoth standing a majestic THREE FEET HIGH!
I flagged down a sales associate as asked her what the guarantee entailed. She told me that they were guaranteeing that they would have the ink cartridge I needed or they would give me $10 off the ink purchase when it came in. Hmmmmmm, a diabolical plan began to form in my little pea brain……..I have 8 different cartridges full of ink in my printer. Individual cartridges cost $15 a piece. Stay with me now, since they stocked NONE of the ink I needed I schemed that all I had to do was to ask for a cartridge, say CYAN and when they didn’t have it in stock VIOLA! I could get ten bucks off of it and pick it up for a five spot! Brilliant!
But wait, there’s more……
Then, the next day, I could go in looking for, say MAGENTA and when they didn’t have that VIOLA! Another five buck ink cartridge! It was foolproof. What could possibly go wrong?
I quickly sprang my plan in to action on the first unsuspecting customer service drone to walk by. GOTCHA! Sure enough, he looked, they didn’t have it and when he searched the database online it was at the warehouse! Boom baby, I’m in! Oh yea!
At this point he turned to me and said “Looks like we have it in the warehouse, I can order it and have it here by tomorrow.” I said “That’s fine, now how about the in stock guarantee?” “Will I need a voucher for it?”.
He looks at me and states: “The in stock guarantee is only on cartridges that we don’t have in stock, I’m showing some in stock at the warehouse, I can have then here tomorrow for you.”
“What??!!” “Of course you have it in stock somewhere. You’re at multi billion dollar grossing, multi national franchised chain of big box retail stores. You’ve got hundreds of retail outlets and probably many dozen multi acre warehouses. Of course you’re going to have them in stock somewhere!” “Duh.” “That doesn’t do me a whole lot of good now does it? If I wanted to order them and get them tomorrow I could do that from the comfort of my own home, hell, according to you, technically you wouldn’t have to stock anything, you could just take my order and then place your order with Epson and they could have one here tomorrow.” “What good does that do me now?”.
He looks at me and states: “The in stock guarantee is only on cartridges that we don’t have in stock, I’m showing some in stock at the warehouse, I can have then here tomorrow for you.”
I in turn say “Doesn’t that make your guarantee foolproof and just a wee bit gimmicky?” “In fact, it seems to be dangerously bordering on the old Bait-and-Switch routine!.”
He looks at me and states: “The in stock guarantee is only on cartridges that we don’t have in stock, I’m showing some in stock at the warehouse, I can have then here tomorrow for you.”
Yep, I’m getting no where with this one. Time to ditch him and go up the food chain. I say “OK, thanks” and trundle off to pay for my purchase. Which I do, and then stand there at the end of the checkout aisle scanning for the ever elusive “manager”.
Just my luck, one wanders by close enough to where I have no need to pull out my tranquilizer gun. I run through the same spiel with him explaining the situation and reiterating my extreme disappointment in their deceptive signage. He rears back and says “Well, just to head off any hard feeling and to calm the situation down, why don’t I just give you a $10 off voucher for the cartridge you are looking for and you can order it online and get the discount?” Hmmmmm I muse, not fully what I wanted but better than nothing. I told him that I wasn’t looking to be difficult (yea, right) and I wasn’t looking for a discount (yea, right) I merely wanted to inform him of how disappointed I was and how mislead I felt over their false claims. Sigh……
Then I graciously accepted the $10 off voucher and began making plans to come back when there was a different manager on duty and to road trip over to the Staples in Kalamazoo and pull the same routine!
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I went through your town on the way back from Chicago over the 4th of July and had to turn around. So many times I meant to have my camera ready to take the picture of the sign showing Climax~3/4 mile, and then the next sign came so soon I should have slowed my speed down, just Climax and an arrow pointing> like anyone could live up to those kinds of demands! Yeah so I had to turn around and try again.