You know, PayPal can just suck my ass!
They have got the most heinous, annoying, fucked up customer service system I have EVER come across. First of all, you have to wade through several generic levels of online "help" just to get to something resembling voice contact information. Once you actually get to that and call you enter an automated voicemail system created in the very bowels of hell! Scientifically designed to try the patience of Job and get on and decimate your every last nerve.
You have to give all your information to a voice recognition system. Name, phone number, penis size, everything. Once you say it, it repeats with: "I heard blah blah blahgety blah, is this correct?" Of course it isn't. You can not pass Go and collect your $200 until this mindless automation is satisfied. This takes about a half hour. Now you wait for the next available customer service representative to assist you.
They whole time you are waiting, you are being literally bombarded with e-bay and paypall advertising.
Finally! A "real" person answers.....and asks the same goddamn questions as the automated system did!
Here's my dilema: Somehow I have accumulated two PayPal accounts over the years. One uses my work e-mail and my current credit card and the other uses my personal e-mail and some unknown card from the ghosts of credit past. All I wanted to do was change the account I am using, which has my work e-mail, to use my personal one. I can't do this because I get a "e-mail is already being used" error message.
Now, I can't delete the other account because I have no clue as to what the credit card number is. See, PayPal hinges everthing on your credit card number.
So I go round and round with this customer sevice drone about deleting my account.
"Well sir, I understand but I can't delete your account without you verifying your CC#"
"But I don't know what it is!"
"Well sir, what you need to do is contact the bank that you have it through and get the correct information."
"But that hasn't been a valid credit card for over four years now. I don't even know what card it was let alone who issued it."
"Well sir, I understand but I can't delete your account without you verifying your CC#."
"So you're telling me that this account is completely unusable because it has an unused card number from many years ago." "What am I supposed to do?"
"Well sir, what you need to do is contact the bank that you have it through and get the correct information."
"But their is absolutely no way for me to get this information. What am I supposed to do, call every credit issuer in the country and ask them if they ever had me as a customer and if so, could I please have the old credit card number so I can randomly try them on my paypal account??!!!"
"Well sir, I understand but I can't delete your account without you verifying your CC#"
"Gee, thank you for going out of your way to be as unhelpful as humanely possible!" *CLICK*
So, I e-mail the customer service system and detail my dilema. After a couple of day I get at six page automated response detailing how to change my password!
I know my password, that's not the fucking problem! They have another automated response system that must pick up on "key" words in your query and sent the "appropriate" response.
How fucking wonderful. All I want to do is delete an account with an unusable credit card number that I haven't used in almost five years so that I can use my e-mail address on the account that I use all the time.
How difficult can that possibly be?
They have got the most heinous, annoying, fucked up customer service system I have EVER come across. First of all, you have to wade through several generic levels of online "help" just to get to something resembling voice contact information. Once you actually get to that and call you enter an automated voicemail system created in the very bowels of hell! Scientifically designed to try the patience of Job and get on and decimate your every last nerve.
You have to give all your information to a voice recognition system. Name, phone number, penis size, everything. Once you say it, it repeats with: "I heard blah blah blahgety blah, is this correct?" Of course it isn't. You can not pass Go and collect your $200 until this mindless automation is satisfied. This takes about a half hour. Now you wait for the next available customer service representative to assist you.
They whole time you are waiting, you are being literally bombarded with e-bay and paypall advertising.
Finally! A "real" person answers.....and asks the same goddamn questions as the automated system did!
Here's my dilema: Somehow I have accumulated two PayPal accounts over the years. One uses my work e-mail and my current credit card and the other uses my personal e-mail and some unknown card from the ghosts of credit past. All I wanted to do was change the account I am using, which has my work e-mail, to use my personal one. I can't do this because I get a "e-mail is already being used" error message.
Now, I can't delete the other account because I have no clue as to what the credit card number is. See, PayPal hinges everthing on your credit card number.
So I go round and round with this customer sevice drone about deleting my account.
"Well sir, I understand but I can't delete your account without you verifying your CC#"
"But I don't know what it is!"
"Well sir, what you need to do is contact the bank that you have it through and get the correct information."
"But that hasn't been a valid credit card for over four years now. I don't even know what card it was let alone who issued it."
"Well sir, I understand but I can't delete your account without you verifying your CC#."
"So you're telling me that this account is completely unusable because it has an unused card number from many years ago." "What am I supposed to do?"
"Well sir, what you need to do is contact the bank that you have it through and get the correct information."
"But their is absolutely no way for me to get this information. What am I supposed to do, call every credit issuer in the country and ask them if they ever had me as a customer and if so, could I please have the old credit card number so I can randomly try them on my paypal account??!!!"
"Well sir, I understand but I can't delete your account without you verifying your CC#"
"Gee, thank you for going out of your way to be as unhelpful as humanely possible!" *CLICK*
So, I e-mail the customer service system and detail my dilema. After a couple of day I get at six page automated response detailing how to change my password!
I know my password, that's not the fucking problem! They have another automated response system that must pick up on "key" words in your query and sent the "appropriate" response.
How fucking wonderful. All I want to do is delete an account with an unusable credit card number that I haven't used in almost five years so that I can use my e-mail address on the account that I use all the time.
How difficult can that possibly be?
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
librarian:
I think that's my favorite profile pic. It's all shouldery and stuff.

librarian:
Probably not, but half the words I use are made up. You still know what I'm sayin'.
