I didn't go to work on the last two shifts I was scheduled for. The last few shifts I had been to I hadn't been able to focus on work very well anyway. I've been trying to talk to the only person I've never hasn't withdrawn themselves from me once I really open up to them, and I can't help but feel that even if she doesn't close me off alltogether, I'm still going to be left alone with my unrelenting thoughts for how much words fail to describe what she means to me.
I've always wanted to avoid resorting to medication in order to function, and I'm still "getting by", but I'm hardly proficent at what I do now. As much as I hate wating for sleep, I almost wish that I'd never wake up to having to keep pushing onwards with my endless barrage of mind numbing confusion. She's the best thing I'll never have, and I can't even tell her so.
I've always wanted to avoid resorting to medication in order to function, and I'm still "getting by", but I'm hardly proficent at what I do now. As much as I hate wating for sleep, I almost wish that I'd never wake up to having to keep pushing onwards with my endless barrage of mind numbing confusion. She's the best thing I'll never have, and I can't even tell her so.
sophie:
yes! you're still here! i hadn't heard from you in awhile and i was wondering if you still wanted your scarf. i took a break from knitting for most of february and march, but now i'm back at it and your scarf is halfway finished. if you still want it, it should be done in maybe two more weeks. you can save it for next winter, since i'm sure i've missed the cold season, even if you do live in canada!
