speats

Because everyone loves a timeline:

1972 - I am born & my Dad upon hearing the joyous
news quickly runs over his lunch.

1978 - Assemble first mix tape and begin collecting
KISS records.

1981 - Impress intimidating sixth graders with the
ability to furnish them with homemade cassette copies
of my expansive selection of Lps.

1984 - First hear the Beatles and Syd Barrett. The seeds
of permanent Rock Snobbery are formed.

1985 - Bar Mitzvah'd and have to write thank you letter
for recieving a copy of "Sports" by Huey Lewis & The
News against my will. Redeem cred by attending Roger
Waters concert. Acquire first CD player.

1986 - Parents kick down the complete Beatles British
Lp catalog for my 14th birthday and I am soon the envy
of .02% of Nobel Jr. High.

1987- Begin ditching high school on a regular basis
and begin unbecoming metal phase.

1988 - End ditching phase . Become aware of music beyond the Beatles and hair metal. Unbecoming metal phase concludes.

1990- Asked back by Chatsworth High for an
unprecedented second run of my senior year.

1993 - Become an exchange student, Enter pretentious
stage.

1994 - Start tour of California junior colleges.

1996 - Defect to Prague for nearly a year. Enter
super-pretentious stage. Drink copious amounts of
beer. See KISS at the Sportovini Hala!

1998- Fulfill record geek dream. Begin working full
time for the man, and by man I mean label.

1999 - Return to Prague to impersonate a law
professor.

2002 -Discover the Suicide Girls...The internet is useful after all!

2003- Downsized. Eating well. Male pattern baldness
sets in.

2004-Rejoin music business against better judgement. See 12th KISS concert.

2005 - Balding continues. More importantly, adopt poodle named Buster.

2006-Make my presence known on Suicide Girls. Life is good.