spazzing

last night Tom proved he might actually be really good for talking to, or at least making me talk to my mother....

Thanksgiving, though good, was a train wreck for my mother. she got ridiculously wasted and hit on a guy there the whole time in front of my father, making it very obvious that she had plans to fuck him that night. i got really pissed off of course, because this alcoholic behavior of hers has been getting out of control and she never even sat down to thanksgiving dinner with all of us AND then she was cheating on my father right in front of me and saying all kinds of shit i do not want to hear.

well, its been bugging her since that i got so upset with her and have been giving her the stink eye about it. she couldn't seem to figure out why i was mad at her the thanksgiving night, other than the whole cheating business. but she was reading way to into it and thought it was all kinds of different reasons. it doesn't help that she doesn't remember that night at all. so last night tom, my mom, and i were chilling in the living room. she was tipsy and i was trying to show her how to play words with friends (she's a scrabble maniac and a techno idiot) during this she keeps asking me about that night and why i was mad. i told her i didn't want to talk about it. but she kept badgering and badgering and badgering and i got to the point of yelling at her "NO" Tom saw the problem in all of this, and made me listen to my mother and talk to her.

my mother has been planning on getting with this guy for 14 years. she claims to love him. she says she needs the romance and it is making her happy. my father has told her about a couple women he's been interested in as well. my parents love eachother in a best friend way, but they each need different romantic couples. my mom wants approval about the man she's been seeing. the relationship with my father has been abusive, now it's boring, and yadda yadda yadda. she doesn't neccisarily plan on getting a divorce yet. she claims her late sister told my mother she should get with this guy a long time ago

i told her it was alot about her alcoholicness thats been worrying me. she is aware how bad she has been and blames our new neighbor and wants to stop. she is bummed that she ruined thanksgiving night for herself. i told her i am fine with with my parents having a mutual understanding about seeing other people. i told her i want her to be happy and im ok with her seeing this guy. i just dont want to see or hear about it!!! it's icky!!!! (plus, though this is a good guy, he can be a little on the creeper side and he has an annoying habit of lightly smacking my ass...i ddin't tell her this part) and i dont want our family to split. that isn't necessary. its incredible that my parents are like the only parents i know who are still together.

then she blamed herself for my dui and all this other stupid stuff that i assured her she should not feel guilty about.



anyways, i really wanna make ornaments this year.