There are many things that people will never get out of their heads..the way that some things trigger the homesickness... I have a feeling that the smell of crank will forever remind me of the neighborhood I live in... and all of my neighbors.. that is what it smells like here and my head is pounding becuase of the scent. I hate it, it makes me so sick and it gives me throbbing migraines from hell... 
On a better note... my nephew just told me that he wants me to leave so that his other aunt can come home... I feel really REALLY really unloved at the moment...I'm wanted here because they need a babysitter, and 2 of my 4 nephews would rather trade me in for my sister... the other 2 don't really know her all that well, but in two months, I will be nothing more than that lady who used to make them food...
they won't remember me after about three weeks and I'll no longer matter, which is a surreal thought, but it's true.. eventually, I'll have my own kids and probably not care so much that I don't matter to them, but for the last 9 years, I've had them around constantly... that's half my life... that's a long time.
Well, in other news, because so many people read this
my perfect boyfriend bought me roses and it was so sweet... I loved it! Ah... I have so much going on right now.
I'm learning to drive, getting ready to move, looking for a place TO move, feeling shitty, working for nothing, trying to find another job that is legal and morally right, trying to find a nice and usable exercise and diet routine, trying to figure out how it is that I can be so "beautiful" to everyone when I'm so not beautiful to myself!
I know, the melodrama is way past it's prime, but I don't really think that it matters, I see all these beautiful Suicide Girls around the site, and I think, "Why can't I look like them," not that I'd ever be one, even if I DID look like that, but it would still be nice to let Jeremy come home to somethign that hot every night.
On a better note... my nephew just told me that he wants me to leave so that his other aunt can come home... I feel really REALLY really unloved at the moment...I'm wanted here because they need a babysitter, and 2 of my 4 nephews would rather trade me in for my sister... the other 2 don't really know her all that well, but in two months, I will be nothing more than that lady who used to make them food...
they won't remember me after about three weeks and I'll no longer matter, which is a surreal thought, but it's true.. eventually, I'll have my own kids and probably not care so much that I don't matter to them, but for the last 9 years, I've had them around constantly... that's half my life... that's a long time.
Well, in other news, because so many people read this
my perfect boyfriend bought me roses and it was so sweet... I loved it! Ah... I have so much going on right now.
I'm learning to drive, getting ready to move, looking for a place TO move, feeling shitty, working for nothing, trying to find another job that is legal and morally right, trying to find a nice and usable exercise and diet routine, trying to figure out how it is that I can be so "beautiful" to everyone when I'm so not beautiful to myself!
I know, the melodrama is way past it's prime, but I don't really think that it matters, I see all these beautiful Suicide Girls around the site, and I think, "Why can't I look like them," not that I'd ever be one, even if I DID look like that, but it would still be nice to let Jeremy come home to somethign that hot every night.