I never know what to write on this thing anymore. I don't feel as much of an attention whore as I used to be. Things are looking really good right now, and I am happy that I will be moving soon. Let's hope I get that job in Austin. Yeah buddy, Texas better get ready for this shit! BTW, I had so much fun with D on spring break. I smoked my comprehensive questions and my project notebook (all three copies 
) looks wonderful. So, you could say my life is pretty set. The job I will HOPEFULLY get is going to not pay great considering my education, but it will be better than the shit I have now which is nothing.
Monday is my presentation day, while I have finished my slides, I am still nervous about presenting this. It's not to say what I am doing is bullshit, but sometimes I get the feeling that I am faking it, that I really don't know what the hell I am talking about and I am blowing smoke up everyone's asses, haha I love that expression. I think I am getting a cold. This stress is seriously bad for me, not to say it is not self-imposed, but there are so many unknown variables right now and it would be nice to control at least something.It really has always been that way for me, this lack of control. Or at least I feel helpless most of the time. No, it is not a victim thing, its just a weird indecisive lack of motivation or drive thing. That really has changed, I mean if you compare my writing to even 2005ish, I feel that I have improved. Not to be self-congratulatory, but I have really learned a lot. One life lesson, and it is still hard for me, Stop internalizing everything. I know I talk about myself a lot, that is a bad thing, but it is my goddamned blog, anyway, the point: everything that happens to me I feel like people mean it in a negative way. Call it borderline personality disorder or whathaveyou, but people aren't going to hurt me, peple aren't talking shit (well they are, but those fuckers are losers anyway), and there is no need to freak out if someone doesn't pay attention to me 24/7. People have lives that don't revolve around ****** **** ***** and I just need to deal with that.
The whole world doesn't revolve around me (yeah it is the universe) bla bla. I guess you could say I have learned not to be such a solipsistic spoiled brat. Hooray for finally growing up at twenty five years old. Haha and I said I never know what to write on this thing.
) looks wonderful. So, you could say my life is pretty set. The job I will HOPEFULLY get is going to not pay great considering my education, but it will be better than the shit I have now which is nothing. Monday is my presentation day, while I have finished my slides, I am still nervous about presenting this. It's not to say what I am doing is bullshit, but sometimes I get the feeling that I am faking it, that I really don't know what the hell I am talking about and I am blowing smoke up everyone's asses, haha I love that expression. I think I am getting a cold. This stress is seriously bad for me, not to say it is not self-imposed, but there are so many unknown variables right now and it would be nice to control at least something.It really has always been that way for me, this lack of control. Or at least I feel helpless most of the time. No, it is not a victim thing, its just a weird indecisive lack of motivation or drive thing. That really has changed, I mean if you compare my writing to even 2005ish, I feel that I have improved. Not to be self-congratulatory, but I have really learned a lot. One life lesson, and it is still hard for me, Stop internalizing everything. I know I talk about myself a lot, that is a bad thing, but it is my goddamned blog, anyway, the point: everything that happens to me I feel like people mean it in a negative way. Call it borderline personality disorder or whathaveyou, but people aren't going to hurt me, peple aren't talking shit (well they are, but those fuckers are losers anyway), and there is no need to freak out if someone doesn't pay attention to me 24/7. People have lives that don't revolve around ****** **** ***** and I just need to deal with that.
The whole world doesn't revolve around me (yeah it is the universe) bla bla. I guess you could say I have learned not to be such a solipsistic spoiled brat. Hooray for finally growing up at twenty five years old. Haha and I said I never know what to write on this thing.
Just write random crap that pleases you, no one else's opinion really matters.