spacepod

I am done playing the pawn. color me simpleton.
i have the ability to tap into more than you might think. i can't always pinpoint the actual meaning, sometimes they are apparent, other times very cloudy. tonight i left my body, while driving even, the music on the car stereo keeping me present enough to navigate, the vehicle was otherwise vacant. i came back with knowledge, knowledge that will ultimately destroy me. most of the respect i had just may be shattered. it is a hard lesson, giving that trust and having it thrown back in your face. it make me wonder how anyone in these times can do random nice things for anyone. they always say thanks, but more oft than naught they don't appreciate it. or attach ulterior motives to said gestures. but still, hope remains. i've placed trust in someone that everyone warned me about. i was actually surprised to learn that everyone was misguided. this person has depth, though plays the dumbed down role to manipulate. you might call it survival mode, but deep down there is a spark, some clarity. you have to know how to dig.

i have opinions, but opinions don't matter, they are just that, without proof. hence what i think ultimately doesn't matter regarding so many points or issues. another voice lost in the sea of static. not to mention i am withdrawn, i have nothing to prove at the present. no transgressions to declare. no game to play.

its time to overthink a situation to death. all signs are pointing to 0. perhaps i should heed them. i once was wise, to myself and others. its all coming back to my court. will i miss or will i hit?

i get "it", do you? my attention is hard to come by undivided. there are many things that make up my world, not just one fixation.