spacepod

where am i?
receptors not functioning, perhaps sleep schedule has something to do with it. there was a brief appearance of the desired me. even though it is the dominant personality, it does not dominate my existence.

learn to feel
feel to learn
yearn to feel
learn to discern feeling and impulse
learn to trust without vulnerability
maliciousness; lacking

everyone dies alone

my thoughts are desultory today

do how you today are?

i am insomnia's little bitch.

i am either grumpy or just very tired. sometimes mountain dew works.

i saw the sun rise this morning.
i witnessed life and death, beauty and repulsiveness, experienced pleasure and pain, all that makes up the reality as we know it in its true form. without drugs, thank you. unless my mountain dew was drugged. or maybe i am going to pop, who knows?
back...
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I am done playing the pawn. color me simpleton.
i have the ability to tap into more than you might think. i can't always pinpoint the actual meaning, sometimes they are apparent, other times very cloudy. tonight i left my body, while driving even, the music on the car stereo keeping me present enough to navigate, the vehicle was otherwise vacant. i came back with...
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interesting weekend, i'd say something about it here, but i'm vague like that.

i feel comfortable on so many levels. it's a good thing

i am really fucking bored at the moment. there are too many cops in this town. your odds of getting pulled over and harrassed is about 80%. do i risk the odds and get out of the house? or stay here and play video games, hmmmmm

OMG, i've been here a year, sometimes daily, sometimes not.
time to reflect on what brought me here, what kept me here, and how much longer i should stay. it conflicts with my voyeuristic tendencies. or does it? am i that much of an exhibitionist? split 50/50? i've no doubt been entertained, by the journal more so than the pictures. there are quite a few...
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i am confused

I picked you out
Of a crowd to talk to you
Said I liked your shoes
You said thanks can I follow you?
So it's up the stairs
And out of view
No prying eyes
I poured some wine I asked your name you asked the time
Well it's two o'clock
Yeah the club is closed we're up the block
Your hands on me
Pressing...
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sooooooo tired.
i sleep now.
wake me up at midnight.

having a surreal moment........leave a message.....beep.