Them: So you're saying that you can give me a massage but I can't give you one?
Me: That's right. I have space issues.
Them: But if you are giving me a massage then I'm still in your space.
Me: Look. It's very complicated. If you had read my manual it might make a little more sense.
Them: You have a manual? Like a "Owner/Operator's Guide to David"?
Me: Yes.
Them: So where is this manual?
Me: What manual?
Them: Your manual. You know the ""Owner/Operator's Guide to David".
Me: I don't have a manual. Why, do you have a manual?
Them: No of course I don't have a manual. But you just told me that you did.
Me: Well, if you had read my manual then you would know that is exactly the type of thing I would lie about.
Them: But I can't read your manual if it doesn't exist!!!
Me: That, my dear, was a very obvious thing to say.
Anyway, yes indeed it's true. He's a black guy named Claude. Nice guy. We have a lot of bands stay at my loft; my roommate is a tour manager, so she knows everybody.