neckrosabre:
nothing wrong with that at all.
I know that it is never good to live in the past, nor is it good to let the past mess up current relationships, but i laid in bed with my bf this morning and started to cry.. ive been super burned in the past, been used, been cheated on and have been forced to drill in my head that there is something wrong with...
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capricious:
hi, it has taken me years to deal with relationships! I grew up with the knowledge that my so called father had cheated on my mom, once when she was heavily pregnant with me and then again years later she found out that he had been seeing her best friend for years and years! Needless to say by the time I was about 10 years old I was already well inclined to believe that men will only ever break your heart!
My partner has coped remarkably well with my constant ending the relationship - my way of protecting myself from him dumping me!! When we were particularly getting on well, I would end it! I would convince myself that in no shape or form could he possibly love me as much as I love him therefore, rather than face the heartache and emotional turmoil it would be easier to do the dumping!
I have had to 'and this will sound ridiculous' do kind of affirmations, like literally say to self how I love and appreciate myself and trusting the process of life etc. I remember talking to a chap once who asked me if I was with a woman whether I would still have all these doubts etc and it took me a while to answer but my reply was YES!
You know what, what youre feeling is like SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE! Its so so horrid, I still get that .... well... I can only explain exactly what I get and this is it: my stomach will start churning beyound anything I could imagine, like I have a thousand butterflies fluttering away in side me, but not the nice excited flutters, but deep intense sensatins. Then I will be overcome with this sense of dread, like the sky has turned dark and the sun is hovering in the distance too afraid to come back in to view. Then every negative thought I could possibly imagine enters my mind ie 'is he with me because it passes the time, feels trapped, worries i couldn't take it if he did end it, only because of our family, because hes waiting for someone else to come along'!
It sounds daft, but I have read a lot of books on the feelings that I have had over the years and tried to understand where my intense sense of dread comes from. I guess a lot of it is pretty simple, I grew up with a beautiful, intelligent, strong willed, amazing mom, yet a man, just one man had ripped her heart out and stood on it in front of her to the extent that she never trusted a man again. However, I have also had to learn to think more of myself. To stop thinking, am I too grumpy, do I worry too much (that is an obvious YES!!!!!) am I too fat, too thin, aging too quickly, acting too young, but I have learnt that i need to trust in myself, to believe I am worth being with.
You are beautiful and would stop a hundred men on the street, your partner could walk out the door, but has chosen to be with you. Whatever you do, don't accidently push him away by worrying. I have done that so many times and then had plead and promise that I will make changes and learn to be happy with what we have.
Gosh, I really have gone on, I apologise for that, but I saw your blog and my heart felt for you so much, as I have been where you are so many times, it hurts to think about it.
My partner has coped remarkably well with my constant ending the relationship - my way of protecting myself from him dumping me!! When we were particularly getting on well, I would end it! I would convince myself that in no shape or form could he possibly love me as much as I love him therefore, rather than face the heartache and emotional turmoil it would be easier to do the dumping!
I have had to 'and this will sound ridiculous' do kind of affirmations, like literally say to self how I love and appreciate myself and trusting the process of life etc. I remember talking to a chap once who asked me if I was with a woman whether I would still have all these doubts etc and it took me a while to answer but my reply was YES!
You know what, what youre feeling is like SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE! Its so so horrid, I still get that .... well... I can only explain exactly what I get and this is it: my stomach will start churning beyound anything I could imagine, like I have a thousand butterflies fluttering away in side me, but not the nice excited flutters, but deep intense sensatins. Then I will be overcome with this sense of dread, like the sky has turned dark and the sun is hovering in the distance too afraid to come back in to view. Then every negative thought I could possibly imagine enters my mind ie 'is he with me because it passes the time, feels trapped, worries i couldn't take it if he did end it, only because of our family, because hes waiting for someone else to come along'!
It sounds daft, but I have read a lot of books on the feelings that I have had over the years and tried to understand where my intense sense of dread comes from. I guess a lot of it is pretty simple, I grew up with a beautiful, intelligent, strong willed, amazing mom, yet a man, just one man had ripped her heart out and stood on it in front of her to the extent that she never trusted a man again. However, I have also had to learn to think more of myself. To stop thinking, am I too grumpy, do I worry too much (that is an obvious YES!!!!!) am I too fat, too thin, aging too quickly, acting too young, but I have learnt that i need to trust in myself, to believe I am worth being with.
You are beautiful and would stop a hundred men on the street, your partner could walk out the door, but has chosen to be with you. Whatever you do, don't accidently push him away by worrying. I have done that so many times and then had plead and promise that I will make changes and learn to be happy with what we have.
Gosh, I really have gone on, I apologise for that, but I saw your blog and my heart felt for you so much, as I have been where you are so many times, it hurts to think about it.
frankiewilde:
no worries. nothing i cant handle 
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hondo_:
+1
ryanbarbee:
youre gorgeous!
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mildots:
Everything happens for a reason. That is one of my mottos.
My other motto. It is what it is.
My other motto. It is what it is.
rapalus:
But then are we ever in control of our actions?
""Happiness always looks small while you hold it in your
hands, but let it go, and you learn at once how big and precious it is."
~Maxim Gorky
hands, but let it go, and you learn at once how big and precious it is."
~Maxim Gorky
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lazaruscries:
Candy looks that way too.
rapalus:
Ain't that the truth...
I am not perfect. I've lied, I've lusted and I have deceived. But I will try to love you the best I can. Because I've been called to do so by one who is perfect. He's truly all I need but if you're open to the opportunity, I will be a good friend to you. Consider me your brother."
Isaiah 46:4
Its funny how things...
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Isaiah 46:4
Its funny how things...
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lazaruscries:
Hmm, all I have for you is hugs.
fleshandbone:
Just realised we haven't talked in ages O:
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animalcrackher:
We defiantly all get that way but giving up isn't the way to go.
It's when we try our hardest that in the end you'll feel proud and relieved.
It's when we try our hardest that in the end you'll feel proud and relieved.
animalcrackher:
I hope you feel better.
never ever ever ever drinking again
i got smashed last night...like we're talking blacked out shit faced what the fuck happened last night drunk lol
i got smashed last night...like we're talking blacked out shit faced what the fuck happened last night drunk lol
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spirit_bear:
Sadness about your loss of time
I may be partial but it could be a good choice to at least relax a little on the drinking
Hope you didn't do anything to embarrassing or stupid ^_^
I may be partial but it could be a good choice to at least relax a little on the drinking
Hope you didn't do anything to embarrassing or stupid ^_^
liquor_blue:
i can relate to this but i woke up with a concussion in hospital... so count yourself lucky! 
best part of clash of the titans : MEDUSA
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lazaruscries:
Next Halloween costume for you?
anotherallniter:
I want to see the new one; I still love the old one. Hopefully the Kraken will look more badass.
im sorta over the who relationship thing right now
they should call it relationSHIT
they should call it relationSHIT
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lazaruscries:
But you have not tried me yet.
neckrosabre:
agreed
each is a slut i dont care if shes marios princess. she boned Bowser and king boo when you were out looking for those gold coins
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neckrosabre:
i swear i've heard that before. is that from a nerdcore song?
eddy1771:
hahahah thats wicked
I'm really happy to say that things are going so so so well right now...
i start school in the fall for hair so if anyone near me would like to be my guinea pig .. hehe
im actually rather good at it being that i do my own hair
The sun is shining so bright through my window as im writing this in bed,...
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i start school in the fall for hair so if anyone near me would like to be my guinea pig .. hehe
im actually rather good at it being that i do my own hair
The sun is shining so bright through my window as im writing this in bed,...
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heartbaker:
So glad your doing good
lazaruscries:
Ever go on vacation yet?