So I have been busy with getting everything together for my new job,I started yesterday at the University of Florida as a handyman.I think honestly my opinion about the job has completely change and I have learned that its requires alot of persistance and being able to keep up with whatever was asked.I had a supervisor train me a little then he gave me the ropes and let me go about.I was to manage 4 floors and it so happened that it was on a busy night called "Gator Nights" it's a thing the University does for the students to get them involved in a positive,active,and fun safe place for them to hang out without getting in trouble doing other things like bars and drinking.I actually was impressed how they turn the building into different sections like the auditorium was prepared to be a "Twilight Movie Night",and in the ball room there was a college mini prom,and outside they had inflatables for the students to play in,there was alot of people over a thousand so it was a little busy but I managed.I am glad I had a great supervisor who helped me and gave me advice when I did something faulty.My schedule is pretty much swamped until Monday and Tuesday so I cant wait for those days to come lol.I am to do another busy day cause there is going to be a college football in town and it gets hectic and severely packed for that so I am unsure what tonight will bring I just hope I can draw out the strength to get to midnight tonight.
On another note I found out that my uncle who so happens to live about 30 minutes from me is having the same problems with his heart as my grandmother did,she died from those same problems and he is worried that he might die so he asked my damned mother about writing a will.Death is so normal to me and I'm very used to it so I just wonder to myself should I be sad or grateful?Some people may thing badly of that since he is my blood and I do love him greatly just I see death in a light as a rebirth and a formal new beginning.It's something that I celebrate and respect greatly but yet the thought of another one of the few relitives that actually claims me and cares is concerned about blood clots in his body well it does worry me a little.As he says he feels it comming and usually the insight that we have is very correct,though we do live on this world as being of humanity and twisted and deformed because of the hell we have so lived we are tied to the binds of our blood and therefore we all as humans hold that insight just unlocking it may be difficult because you have to break that silence of spirit.
I am so glad to be back here yet I have been so busy and havent had time to write and speak my thoughts.Many things have changed for me and its for good and bad,one thing thats new is I cut my hair off,not a little but alot.To me personally my hair represented my free spirit,it was not just somethign of my body but it spoke about who I was,there was that sense of being wild not as in going out and partying or drinking,but to be of earth,true to myself,and free,so as I had to cut it to get this job I felt as if I had lost some essence of me.But as days passed I realized that it never left and I am still the same just in new light reformed to better my life.But time goes forth and the present makes way to the past.ISo many things have helped me gai this ground and as I see the light in each day as I am already very olden and wise for being balanced and being guided by the voices of my past and in my blood I live a very peaceful existance for the most part and as I have stepped into the limelight of the city I now know its a new journey into a world unknown to me,its different than the backwoods,the creeks,and ponds,its different than the simple existance of the soft Georgia soil.Ive not replaced my home but came to another existance and stage of developing myself spiritually,mentally,emotionally,to better myself in life and society.So much is gained and though at times I feel I have lost sense of it all I am deeply reminded that no matter where I go my voice will be heard.
I just hope the days to come will give me light,energy,and passion to keep on doing as I always have.And even though my mind is shot and I am insane I still hold ground to just exist with a calling of what to gain but what I can teach,learn,and give.I am still very young but that fact cannot undermine my knowledge,insight,and power that I hold within spirit and my heart.I am tainted,twisted,and torn from the wars I've fought,but I know inside my fights have lead me to giving hands of love to the world and those lost and alone.I walk as I have in spirit and blood the walk of a healer.And Hopefully that voice will once again be heard here.
On another note I found out that my uncle who so happens to live about 30 minutes from me is having the same problems with his heart as my grandmother did,she died from those same problems and he is worried that he might die so he asked my damned mother about writing a will.Death is so normal to me and I'm very used to it so I just wonder to myself should I be sad or grateful?Some people may thing badly of that since he is my blood and I do love him greatly just I see death in a light as a rebirth and a formal new beginning.It's something that I celebrate and respect greatly but yet the thought of another one of the few relitives that actually claims me and cares is concerned about blood clots in his body well it does worry me a little.As he says he feels it comming and usually the insight that we have is very correct,though we do live on this world as being of humanity and twisted and deformed because of the hell we have so lived we are tied to the binds of our blood and therefore we all as humans hold that insight just unlocking it may be difficult because you have to break that silence of spirit.
I am so glad to be back here yet I have been so busy and havent had time to write and speak my thoughts.Many things have changed for me and its for good and bad,one thing thats new is I cut my hair off,not a little but alot.To me personally my hair represented my free spirit,it was not just somethign of my body but it spoke about who I was,there was that sense of being wild not as in going out and partying or drinking,but to be of earth,true to myself,and free,so as I had to cut it to get this job I felt as if I had lost some essence of me.But as days passed I realized that it never left and I am still the same just in new light reformed to better my life.But time goes forth and the present makes way to the past.ISo many things have helped me gai this ground and as I see the light in each day as I am already very olden and wise for being balanced and being guided by the voices of my past and in my blood I live a very peaceful existance for the most part and as I have stepped into the limelight of the city I now know its a new journey into a world unknown to me,its different than the backwoods,the creeks,and ponds,its different than the simple existance of the soft Georgia soil.Ive not replaced my home but came to another existance and stage of developing myself spiritually,mentally,emotionally,to better myself in life and society.So much is gained and though at times I feel I have lost sense of it all I am deeply reminded that no matter where I go my voice will be heard.
I just hope the days to come will give me light,energy,and passion to keep on doing as I always have.And even though my mind is shot and I am insane I still hold ground to just exist with a calling of what to gain but what I can teach,learn,and give.I am still very young but that fact cannot undermine my knowledge,insight,and power that I hold within spirit and my heart.I am tainted,twisted,and torn from the wars I've fought,but I know inside my fights have lead me to giving hands of love to the world and those lost and alone.I walk as I have in spirit and blood the walk of a healer.And Hopefully that voice will once again be heard here.