sourgrapes

I'm starting this because it gets kinda lonely on base. As of today I've been in the navy exactly 5 months. They say there's only two reasons to join the navy. You're either running away from something or running to something. I'm still trying to figure out what category I fit into. The longer I'm here the more I doubt whether I belong here. Eveyone tells me I'm an outstanding sailor, and I know I do a good job, but its not the navy I thought it was. I think I was looking forward to new level of self destruction. I wanted a place where I could fall into a state of lonely alcohol induced self abandonement. The loneliness is here, but without the alcohol its kind of pointless. I was doing a much better job back in New York of alienating family and friends and spiraling deeper into catatonia. Damn.