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soultoast

Member Since 2002

Followers 5 Following 9

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Thursday Jun 20, 2002

Jun 20, 2002
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well, it doesn't seem to be getting any better....

I haven't really done a very good job of documenting the struggle. I don't seem to have the words. This is not a poetic moment. There are no lovingly crafted phrases to describe this. This is a matter of two people who grew apart and are now having to deal with the consequences.
I thought that I would feel sadness or anger or something....nope...complete apathy. It all just doesn't seem to matter anymore. I just want it to be over with. I'm sick of the whole situation. I fell like I've wasted all my good years...it's really sad to look back on a relationship like that.
The worst thing is that I've tried to put it behind me by reaching out to others. Not so much asking for help or sympathy, but more or less, asking for conversation....and I'm not doing a very good job.
Oh well...tomorrows tomorrow and its not going to get any worse than today.

At least I hope not
girlblue:
Hey...everything cycles. I woke up this morning feeling good, then 20 minutes later feeling really hopeless, then trying to go back to bed for another four hours only to lie awake. I should have just gone running instead. But once I got to work and felt productive I was fine. I've been laughing through my tears. At least my feelings are not a constant...I actually find that a relief. At some point I'm gonna have to stop moving...and sit still and deal. But that comes later. Just do whatever it is that will bring you most comfort, even if it feels like nothing can. At least give it a try.

Jun 20, 2002
devi1gir1666:
i'm sorry something sad has happened. i'm sorry i wasn't here to talk to you. are you still planning on coming up here next wednesday for the show? let me know. i'll be there. smile

crystal
Jun 22, 2002

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