soulsponge

I think I've got this unhealthy mix of perfectionism and delusions of grandeur. I have these moments where I think I'm capable of absolutely anything. So I'll try, and if the result isn't spectacular, I'll quit. No second thoughts. Well that's not any good, is it? There's no way I'm ever going to excel at anything on the first try, but that's what I expect. And it's almost impossible to talk myself into giving it another shot. Which is weird; I always thought the first step was the hardest.

I don't know if this is related or not, but in the back of my mind, I think I still figure on being an SG or a singer or a poet or one of my other little guilty dreams. With SG, I still think of set ideas I'd like to try. But nobody's left to humor me... no Camille to do my makeup (the extent of my ability is shown in the picture to the left), no Laura to shoot the photos, no Jess to make me smile and model poses with me. Mike has offered, but neither of us has any experience with it, and to be quite honest, I'm not totally comfortable naked in front of his camera like I was with Laura. *le sigh* So I guess I'm stuck with logic circuits. Which I enjoy, but honestly, what am I going to do with my life that involves designing logic circuits?

Nessa wants to take me bargain lingerie shopping. She used to be a stripper. Maybe she'll have some tips for me. That would be cool.

Trying to lose weight doesn't work when your family treats you to an expensive Italian restaurant. We ate at Vincent's on St. Charles. I got stuffed chicken with provolone, ham, and artichoke hearts. Yum

Nothing else new, just putting off studying for a physics quiz. Crystal lattice diffraction totally escapes me.