soulcompromise

I used to have lots of friends... Have you ever felt totally abandoned by everyone including yourself? I recently had two of my close friends die... if you're reading this you can see the post I made about it not too long ago. They were both people I admired and felt fond of. Now there's an empty space where they used to be. Part of me feels like I'm not responsible for them anymore and the other part doesn't know what to think. One overdosed on heroin, the other on pain pills. Both were accidental. If that's not the most confusing thing in my life right now I don't know what is.
School is challenging. I had an open note midterm today with 4 essay questions and I only finished 3. I'm perplexed and I would imagine my grade will reflect something the ilk of disgust. I deserve a B at least and I doubt that I will get one. I stayed up half the night preparing notes. I can't even say that I'm glad it's over.