So I am switching career fields from a graduate student who didn't quite finish his degree to.....?????
So where is the part where people teach you how to apply for jobs? I guess it was in there somewhere, but as this decision got closer and closer I slowly realized that I only knew how to apply (and not very well) to the job I was no longer seeking.
So now I am in full panic mode.....well slight panic mode. I put in an application for a teaching position in fall....I plan to do another soon....and once that one is in, hopefully the others will start flowing.
I can tell you that it feels like my teeth are falling out. If you are an active dreamer, you know the dreams where you feel futureless and aimless and you are wandering, oh and also your teeth are falling out.
Needless to say this is a weirdly stressful time where I have a full time job with half time pay....money til September....a summer job if I want it....so much time and energy and stuff.....so the fear goes beyond all this...it goes to this place that is more like....what do I want to do for the rest of my life....instead of the normal...how will I pay rent next month.
Fuck this looking to the future bullshit. If capitalism is going to fall down beneath its own weight....mass suffering aside....I wish it would happen before I have to pick a new career.
Shit. Ass. Damn.
PS - Today is normally my day off....but since every one in this town also had the day off they were all up in my grill serving brunch and jamming up my coffee works.....so the three cups of coffee I had before eating anything....maybe it got me.
So where is the part where people teach you how to apply for jobs? I guess it was in there somewhere, but as this decision got closer and closer I slowly realized that I only knew how to apply (and not very well) to the job I was no longer seeking.
So now I am in full panic mode.....well slight panic mode. I put in an application for a teaching position in fall....I plan to do another soon....and once that one is in, hopefully the others will start flowing.
I can tell you that it feels like my teeth are falling out. If you are an active dreamer, you know the dreams where you feel futureless and aimless and you are wandering, oh and also your teeth are falling out.
Needless to say this is a weirdly stressful time where I have a full time job with half time pay....money til September....a summer job if I want it....so much time and energy and stuff.....so the fear goes beyond all this...it goes to this place that is more like....what do I want to do for the rest of my life....instead of the normal...how will I pay rent next month.
Fuck this looking to the future bullshit. If capitalism is going to fall down beneath its own weight....mass suffering aside....I wish it would happen before I have to pick a new career.
Shit. Ass. Damn.
PS - Today is normally my day off....but since every one in this town also had the day off they were all up in my grill serving brunch and jamming up my coffee works.....so the three cups of coffee I had before eating anything....maybe it got me.
so the fear goes beyond all this...it goes to this place that is more like....what do I want to do for the rest of my life....instead of the normal...how will I pay rent next month.
This. And it's incredible how HARD it is to find people who understand.
Things are looking up....I just haven't reposted about it for sake of jinxing it.