sorrowsjoy

Ohhh man I am having one of those days and another crack in my foundation has ripped into me like an earthquake--The saying is true--Those you love the most hurt you the most--And to top off evrything my Day Planner,which contained my credit cards,medical cards,my ID,and my Social Security card was stolen just about a week ago--I have been scrambling to cancel each card but now I'm broke because I don't have access to them until I get the new ones--Luckily I can still access my health care since I'm an established patient--God my life was in that thing,what little life I have right now--It's pretty sad how much those things define us in society and without them you are nothing legally--Anyways I'm not going to rant on I don't have the puissance to continue.



God I can't find the words anymore
They flew from the cuckoo's nest that is my brain
Racing to depart from the cages when I opened the doors
To the madness,sadness,and grief that inevitably came
Crying to be heard,a cacaphony of overwhelming noise

So my words aren't polished nor impart great wisdom
But they are mine, and raw,screaming to be formed
Into recognizable shapes,and perhaps to articulate
The fear I inhale in every breathe
They are not for you to twist and I won't dissemble
This pain is inherent and could you refrain from
The labels and narrow definitions that you chain my life to

I no longer care what others think (well maybe that's an untruth)
I've spent my life with shoeprints running up and down my body
And with a certainty I deny you the pride of thinking you
Have figured me out because I am not so simple
In every breathe and every single action
You cannot know what lies behind the darkness in my eyes
And even in the face of grave defeat I cling to hope the most fragile of things
My beginning and my end



Lexi


Take a look at what you've done
and gaze upon what you've become.
Father help me to bring his end
Then to hell his soul we'll send.

The Devil take you for his needs
while children stab you and make you bleed.
You'll repent for what you've done
for raping my Daughter, raping my Son.

--VNV Nation--"Serial Code"




The hallowed lands so far behind
As fleeting dreams still linger
Like distant voices through the rain
Like grains of sand cast from my hands

I never thought I'd go this far
Without a star to cross the seas
So far from shores I'd left behind
Still far from shores I've yet to reach

I try to find the strength I need
To calm the doubts in my beliefs
With the will, I know my heart won't break

And if I have the strength then I've belief
If I have love my heart still beats
Here under stars
Far from home

The picture fades, the light recedes
The sound is lost in whispers
My recollections once clear and pure
Now distant lights that dim with time

I never thought I'd go this far
Without a star to cross the seas
So far from shores I'd left behind
Still far from shores I've yet to reach

VNV Nation--"Homeward"--Matter+Form