soph

I went, alone, to see Buck65 last night. It was sad (because of the music), and incredible, and has been echoing around me all day. one of my favorite live shows ever, it was so intimate and personal, and he was so real. I talked to him after, he was earnest and sweet and I wish i hadn't been so nervous so I could have thought of something to say. the music made me cry and his voice felt like something really ancient and deeply buried; I didn't care I was alone and everyone around me was drunk. But I feel dissatisfied now today, frustrated, uncreative and mad about it. I really have to get out of here, thank god for my vacation to SF the weekend after next! plus I will get my hair cut, at last, always cheers me up at least for a little while. and then just 5 more months or so in pdx till I can go back to SF for real. or at least till grad school. I am getting very very tired of moving; I've never lived anywhere for more than 11 consecutive months. sigh. feeling restless, wanting something I can't define, too many things all jumbled together and pretending to be one thing.
I didn't kiss anyone last night, sadly, and noone kissed me either. But don't worry, the urge hasn't completely dissipated yet. dunx, you owe me one, still...