Quite possibly the most beautiful thing anyone's ever said about me...
"I almost Drowned in my Beer, then I was Saved by a Punk.
1:12pm Today
I was sitting, and crying, and drowning myself in my beer, when I thought to myself "I'd really like to talk to Christoph... I need to talk to Christoph..." And all of a sudden there was Christoph. When text messages aren't answered, when people don't answer their phones, when all I get are dial tones and empty air, across the Universe you heard me... When the house was quiet and everyone was in bed, and I was crying to the Stove. Last night a filthy punk saved my life. When nobody else even knew I was dying inside.
......
A: "beauty makes me sad..."
C: "then you'll never know your own worth without shedding a tear"
A: "hmm".....
Streetlight Manifesto - A Better Time, a Better Place
Looking through the paper today
looking for a specific page
Don't wanna find her full name followed by dates
because when i left her alone
she made a sound, like a moan
"You're known by everyone for everything you've done"
Fuck buying flowers for graves
I'd rather buy you a one way non-stop
to anywhere
find anyone
do anything
forget and start again, love
She said she won't go
(and that's that)
It hurts too much to stand by
you've got to stop and draw a line
Everyone here has to choose a side tonight
the moment of truth is haunting you
Don't forget your family
regardless what you choose to do
You can't decide
and they're all screaming "why won't you?"
I'll start the engine but I can't take this ride for you
I'll draw your bath and I'll load your gun
but I hope so bad that you bathe and hunt
And even if it was so
Oh I wouldn't let you go
you could run run run run but I will follow close
Someday you will say "that's it, that's all"
but I'll be waiting there with open arms to break your fall
I know that you think that you're on your own
but just know that I'm here
and I'll lead you home
if you let me
She said "forget me"
but I can't
----
......
C: "how can you expect me to understand fully? i am a completely optimistic and positive person, and here you are, beating yourself up so bad..."
C: "I used to be pessimistic 'Because if i see things as awful and as shitty as they are then things can only get better' Unfortunatly thats not how the universe works. Like attracts like, thoughts become feelings, feelings become things, things become perceived, perception becomes the Universe"
C: "So don't do that to yourself, you deserve better."
A: "You're the best friend I never see..."
......
As long as I have you kid, i'm not alone.
Thanks, for being my friend, when I needed a friend the most.
Thanks for being my friend, when all I ever wanted was a friend.
Thanks for talking to me in riddles and songs, cause you know that's all I understand.
And thanks for not singing the same damn song to me.
And thankyou for not passing it off, thanks for not brushing it off, thankyou for letting me talk, and thankyou for saying something other than "That sucks" and thankyou for staying up with me until god-AWFUL hours of the night even THOUGH you had to be up early. Thanks for letting it be okay, that I feel whatever I feel. Thankyou for not judging me, thankyou for not minimizing me, thankyou for listening. Thankyou for taking the time to be my friend. Thankyou for making me feel heard. Thankyou for not trying to give me answers, thankyou for not giving me advice, thankyou for being a human being.
Thankyou, for proving to me that i'm real, when all I feel like is a ghost.
Thankyou, for making me think thoughts i'd never thought before. It is a great feat in and of itself to do such things, and you do it effortlessly, when I need you. Thankyou for always being there when I need you.
Thanks.. Just Thanks... I don't think I could ever thank you enough, I don't think theres an end to the things I could thank you for. I got your back my beautiful friend, from now until the sun blows this whole fucking universe up. You are Gold in my eyes. Thankyou for saving my life.
I almost said "You'll never know how much you mean to me." But.... I think you do.
And I think that's the greatest thing ever. Cause I think you do Understand.. I think you DO understand. I think you just gave me the best Christmas Present anyone ever could have given me.
Here are the keys to the Emerald City, welcome to my heart.
---
"If I could paint your picture,
I'd paint you as the sea,
I'd let your arms become the tide,
if I could fall into you,
i'd let you swallow me,
so I could see from inside,
it's a cruel melody,
that you see when i'm awake,
trying to find where the sun shines in a land thats turning grey,
and it's a cruel memory to look back on where we where,
cause my past is a poison and i'll never find the cure""
Amanda, dear, you are loved.
"I almost Drowned in my Beer, then I was Saved by a Punk.
1:12pm Today
I was sitting, and crying, and drowning myself in my beer, when I thought to myself "I'd really like to talk to Christoph... I need to talk to Christoph..." And all of a sudden there was Christoph. When text messages aren't answered, when people don't answer their phones, when all I get are dial tones and empty air, across the Universe you heard me... When the house was quiet and everyone was in bed, and I was crying to the Stove. Last night a filthy punk saved my life. When nobody else even knew I was dying inside.
......
A: "beauty makes me sad..."
C: "then you'll never know your own worth without shedding a tear"
A: "hmm".....
Streetlight Manifesto - A Better Time, a Better Place
Looking through the paper today
looking for a specific page
Don't wanna find her full name followed by dates
because when i left her alone
she made a sound, like a moan
"You're known by everyone for everything you've done"
Fuck buying flowers for graves
I'd rather buy you a one way non-stop
to anywhere
find anyone
do anything
forget and start again, love
She said she won't go
(and that's that)
It hurts too much to stand by
you've got to stop and draw a line
Everyone here has to choose a side tonight
the moment of truth is haunting you
Don't forget your family
regardless what you choose to do
You can't decide
and they're all screaming "why won't you?"
I'll start the engine but I can't take this ride for you
I'll draw your bath and I'll load your gun
but I hope so bad that you bathe and hunt
And even if it was so
Oh I wouldn't let you go
you could run run run run but I will follow close
Someday you will say "that's it, that's all"
but I'll be waiting there with open arms to break your fall
I know that you think that you're on your own
but just know that I'm here
and I'll lead you home
if you let me
She said "forget me"
but I can't
----
......
C: "how can you expect me to understand fully? i am a completely optimistic and positive person, and here you are, beating yourself up so bad..."
C: "I used to be pessimistic 'Because if i see things as awful and as shitty as they are then things can only get better' Unfortunatly thats not how the universe works. Like attracts like, thoughts become feelings, feelings become things, things become perceived, perception becomes the Universe"
C: "So don't do that to yourself, you deserve better."
A: "You're the best friend I never see..."
......
As long as I have you kid, i'm not alone.
Thanks, for being my friend, when I needed a friend the most.
Thanks for being my friend, when all I ever wanted was a friend.
Thanks for talking to me in riddles and songs, cause you know that's all I understand.
And thanks for not singing the same damn song to me.
And thankyou for not passing it off, thanks for not brushing it off, thankyou for letting me talk, and thankyou for saying something other than "That sucks" and thankyou for staying up with me until god-AWFUL hours of the night even THOUGH you had to be up early. Thanks for letting it be okay, that I feel whatever I feel. Thankyou for not judging me, thankyou for not minimizing me, thankyou for listening. Thankyou for taking the time to be my friend. Thankyou for making me feel heard. Thankyou for not trying to give me answers, thankyou for not giving me advice, thankyou for being a human being.
Thankyou, for proving to me that i'm real, when all I feel like is a ghost.
Thankyou, for making me think thoughts i'd never thought before. It is a great feat in and of itself to do such things, and you do it effortlessly, when I need you. Thankyou for always being there when I need you.
Thanks.. Just Thanks... I don't think I could ever thank you enough, I don't think theres an end to the things I could thank you for. I got your back my beautiful friend, from now until the sun blows this whole fucking universe up. You are Gold in my eyes. Thankyou for saving my life.
I almost said "You'll never know how much you mean to me." But.... I think you do.
And I think that's the greatest thing ever. Cause I think you do Understand.. I think you DO understand. I think you just gave me the best Christmas Present anyone ever could have given me.
Here are the keys to the Emerald City, welcome to my heart.
---
"If I could paint your picture,
I'd paint you as the sea,
I'd let your arms become the tide,
if I could fall into you,
i'd let you swallow me,
so I could see from inside,
it's a cruel melody,
that you see when i'm awake,
trying to find where the sun shines in a land thats turning grey,
and it's a cruel memory to look back on where we where,
cause my past is a poison and i'll never find the cure""
Amanda, dear, you are loved.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
You're a nice guy. Sarcastic as hell, but very kind.
I was so stoked on my set going up that, when it finally did, I saw everything awesome about it, but, like what people say to me, I saw it over and over and could only point out what was wrong. Like "Man, is my head really that big? No way. Holy fucking shit, it is. I have a huge noggin."
I have confidence, of course, but that doesn't mean that I don't have obvious and noticeable flaws. I like them, though.
Like, my left arm. My bones are fused together an inch below my elbow instead of above. I can't turn my wrist on its own. So, I have to turn my entire arm. I can't touch my left shoulder with my left hand because of it. It's only noticeable when I try, because I look like a fucking "special needs" human when I do it. It's fun, though. I could never direct traffic.
(What's the punch line?) Because I would slap myself in the face. Haw haw haw.
So, even though fuckwads are negative about my fuzzy vagina or that I look like I need a tan or even that I'm not hot enough to be an SG; I may get all chuffed about it for a limited amount of time, but, I mean, I'm pretty fucking stellar.
My friends and the few select strangers I let get close enough to become a friend of mine (I have trust issues? Long, complicated story.) and visa-versa can see through my mistakes, mishaps, and funny little flaws. Glad to add one to the count.