I've come to the conclusion that I fucking suck at blogging.

It used to be for me. Then I grew up a little. Now I'm a big boy. And I can't be bothered to sit any type for so fucking long to log all the shit I've done. I do too much shit.

I have too many hobbies. I have too many friends. And I would say I "have too much to do", but then I'd be fucking lying. 'Cause I don't have to do anything I don't fucking want to. If I wanted to stop, I would. But I love who I am, and I love what I do way too fucking much to change. I will make sacrifices for things that are worth it, such as my lovely new girlfriend, Paige.

Blogging doesn't seem like the juice is worth the squeeze.

A lot of my friends, both on this site and not, come here for an update they can't get all the time from myself in person. But I fucking suck at keeping track of everything I've done by typing.

Seriously.

This is becoming a fucking problem.

I wish I could log everything I've done, each day... But typing is so fucking slow for someone who does so much and has so much to say.

May seem a little contradictory, seeing as I'm typing this right now...

But that's because I'm putting things into perspective for myself, even as I type this sentence (which, three seconds ago, had no idea I'd be typing.)

Every little thing I type is a new realization. And since my mind is kind of jumbled with all these little thoughts zooming around, I thought I'd help myself out here...

Am at a point in my life where I truly am living life to its fullest. But with that, unfortunately, comes the painful realities of being too "busy"...

I hate that fucking word. It makes me sound too professional. Too... formal. I'm not. I'm relaxed, easy going, and mellow the majority of the time. Even though I am always doing something, it's always something I want to be doing. Some people think that since I'm not available all the time, I must be lame, and pre-occupied, and over-booked. While I do feel like I try to do too much with too little (time, money, resources, etc.), there is nothing wrong with that. It's a positive quality in my opinion...

But one of the biggest downfalls of living so fucking fast the inability to share it with anyone else. I got lots of friends. I got lots of really close friends. But none of them are as close and available as much as I am to do all the things I do, so not any one of them hears everything I've ever done. Which is new, and a bit upsetting to me. I like having that super special someone I can explode everything onto. I always get "Hey Slut, what have you been up to?"

Or if it's one of my really close friends, "Hey Christoph, how've you been? What's new?"

And I can't give a fucking answer.

I don't know what to fucking say.

I don't know where to fucking start.

And as I'm typing this... I get several phonecalls, for more shit to do.

So I can't even finish everything I wanted to say.

Story of my fucking life.

"I wish there were more than the twenty-four fucking hours in a day..."

And so... Another perfect example of everything I'm talking about, and that which I don't even have any fucking time to say...

Live fast.

Die better than everyone else.

- Slut