sonofapunk

I sincerely don't know what to fucking say.

I'm fucking down. Low. Again. Why? Because of a fucking girl who gave me the best and worst times of my life.

Why couldn't she have stayed faithful?

I live in a fucking town that's so small, that when you want to escape, it'll always bite you back in the ass.

The guy who was my friend that was one of the guys she effed around with is "a really nice guy". What the fuck do you do when your cousin (who's totally fucking rad) is good friends with one of 3 people who makes you homicidal?!

If I ever see him again, he's going to have a hard time living without a machine. I'm talking serious fucking hospitalization.

"But he's a really nice guy."

Fuck you. Nice guys don't use good people to get to their girlfriends. Nice guys don't lie and manipulate girls to get what they want. Nice guys don't wait for good friends to have a weak spot to fulfil selfish wants. Nice guys don't go around bragging about it afterward.

I'm a nice guy. And as fucking hard as I've tried to disprove it my WHOLE life, this seems to prove that "nice guys finish last". I've done nothing but good things in my life. And I get a broken heart, a my back becomes a pin-cushion of knives all "from a friend".

So right now. What do I do? I let him get away scott-fucking-free with something I should have taken his legs for.

"But he's a really nice guy."

There's no fucking closure there. A good friend who you had good times with, a great girl who you had great times with, both fuck you over something hardcore.

And that is why I'm starting a group. A group where victims of adultery and cheating can discuss, digest, and dispense. I need this. I'm either gonna do something really violent and Iknow I'm going to regret. Or I'm going to seek help in one form or another.

It seems that everybody who knows the whole situation has very little to help me with. No advice. Or really biast advice.

I'm warning you guys, it's a 6-year long fucking story. It's the happiest and saddest thing I think people can experience.

For now... For the first time in my life, I'm going to go drink away my sorrows in the company of the only true friends I have come to know.

I love these guys.

I love you guys.

Please, as easy as it is, just feel better than I do.

I'll be back on in a few days, when I sober up.

Take care of yourselves, and eachother.

- Christoph "PunkerSlut" Leon