Last night I suddenly woke up whistling. I know in my dream I was in a large room with stone walls, a church or some sort of old building. I remember there was a breeze. I had a melody from the middle of a Godspeed! song stuck in my head and whistled it absently. My friend Alix, amusedly, as though I shouldnt know at all,...
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This is going to be a very wank-heavy post. I'm sorry. Sometimes I give a shit about the people reading this, sometimes I just want a good whinge.
I'm sunburned, and not good enough. I move around too much, Tara told me, like a nervous ant. I twitch randomly and constantly worry. If I'm perfectly content I'll invent something to worry about. I can't tell...
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I'm sunburned, and not good enough. I move around too much, Tara told me, like a nervous ant. I twitch randomly and constantly worry. If I'm perfectly content I'll invent something to worry about. I can't tell...
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fenianone:
what a place for us to be on a saturday night.
Everything is slipping. I feel like the back of my head is being hit by an opening drawer full of letters while my feet are resting on a conveyor belt moving toward a hole in the ground. Im being alternately pushed and pulled in differing directions simply because I cannot decide what I should do.
I know what I have to do, but each day...
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I know what I have to do, but each day...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
fenianone:
for me, most of the time i feel that i am just biding my time til that day i am done with this constant struggle. some people just don't understand why i am the way i am. i call my self hyperaware. i see everything. analyzing and realizing that i dont feel like everyone else, in that, i am not self centerred, i believe in common respect among human beings. my way of dealing with all of this is to just shut down. stay home and seperate from everyone, becoming numb. the tatoos give me something to look forward to and in the pain i find a sense of heightening, the nerves pushed to their limit. impulses looding the brain, and as i am trying to figure out why pain is what it is, mind over matter, i think to myself that if i force myself to not feel this physical pain, i can force myself to not feel the other pains in my life. i think that is the best way i can explain it.
rizzo:
hell yeah! come in today and fill out an application, I'll be there. however, the manager won't be in until monday...it's worth a shot.
I spend the morning applying for jobs I wont get, don't deserve, and don't want.
I spend the afternoon walking into each store I can find to ask for applications.
I spend the night changing my resume back and forth so that I'd done nothing by the end, like a Stalinist productivity trick.
I want a drink and to go out with people. I want...
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I spend the afternoon walking into each store I can find to ask for applications.
I spend the night changing my resume back and forth so that I'd done nothing by the end, like a Stalinist productivity trick.
I want a drink and to go out with people. I want...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
rizzo:
KB Toys at the Wakefield Mall is hiring!!! but thewn again, you'd hafta deal with me telling you what to do. Waldenbooks is probably hiring too.... then again, retail blows. but when you need a job real bad, it's the best place to look.
Erased for tedium's sake.
iggy:
So I am assuming it did't go well this morning? Thats ok youre too good for that anyway.
You'll get a job soon hon. Hell, you've applied to a million places!
You'll get a job soon hon. Hell, you've applied to a million places!
Erased for tedium's sake.
Don't ask how. It's less interesting than you'd think...
iggy:
Love you!
iggy:
i totally want your manflesh.
I'm still at home. I got in a fight with my father last Thursday and left the house until early this morning. The fact that I was missing for five days and he never called me to see if I was ok has been noted. He's being a complete asshole in ways that surprise even me. He's telling me things like:
i can't stay up...
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i can't stay up...
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iggy:
move here!! I miss you!!
Erased for tedium's sake.
iggy:
don't worry hon. You can request nekkid pics of me any time you want. or the real thing for that matter....hehehe.
or the real thing for that matter....hehehe.
whiterice:
yeah, i ffeel the same way, liked reading your posts
Erased for tedium's sake.
signalnoise:
ah that sucks, i enjoy your journal. but you gotta do what you gotta do. i have to ask though: what about the political chat on here bugs you? b/c i have my own beefs, and i'd love to hear yer issues.