somuchrain

I've been in the city this last week looking for an apartment. Utterly no luck at all. Not entirely sure what I'm doing wrong, but any rate. I got to see a lot of people whom I love and hadn't seen in ages, and had a lot of fun. I miss Nadja though and can't wait to go get him from the boarding place where...
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I'm not so good this week. I might have a place to live in the city, but it all depends on my ability to get to the city to pay for it. I can't get there until Monday at the earliest and then, for reasons all too stupid, wouldn't have any way to get back to my father's house until the following Thursday night or...
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So I was talking to my mother tonight and found out that Padraic O Conaire was actually a family friend 'back in the day.' Apparently he and my great grandfather were in the The Gaelic League together in Galway. He had, according to word, a tab with my great grandfather for whiskey. My great grandfather had some money 'cos he had a masters (quite something...
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So I've got nowhere to live. This is starting to drive me insane. I can't possibly stay in my dad's house on the basement floor much longer. To begin with the concrete dust in the air is starting to make me sick. I might have to just find some hotel in the city that allows dogs and stay there until I can actually find a...
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Well I've spent the last 24 hours finishing books and starting new ones. I read Padraic o Connaire's "Exile" and John Banville's "The Untouchable". Both were brilliant. Banville, despite everything I'd read about his 'high-modernist' Gothic style was beautiful writing and the story was touching, hilarious, and deeply thoughtful. He touches on aspects of identity through metaphors of migration and espionage that are kind of...
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I think I'm a bit too Old Testament after all. You see, I'm a fanatical wisher-on-stars (shooting or otherwise), and in fact, I wish on just about anything opportune or unexpected. I've got this fear, though, that whatever power there is that grants my wishes will be a prissy, semantic 'teacher of lessons' that, if my wishes aren't complete or coherent enough, if there's the...
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There's a feeling of quiet unease thrown over everything now. I'd love to talk about it with him, but it would end in embarrassed silence or more tears. I think I'll take my father's methods and pretend nothing every happened. Back to the cheerful stage Charlie making rude jokes and tickling the children. God, I just made myself sound like a perverted uncle or something....
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Well disaster more-or-less put off. It was just a really huge fight with my dad, my dad's fiance, and my dad's best friend. Trite sounding now, but I've never actually been in a fight with my dad so it was pretty fucking shattering. He's always been sort of a friend and not a father. I don't think he's ever forbidden me from doing anything and...
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tonight was very bad. i can't really talk about how without going into very very great detail. it was just very bad. i might not be back in a while, but i might be back in the morning. i'm not quite sure. tonight was just very bad.

dude, i am totally sitting in the basement listening to Nelly and reading Fancy French Philosophy (tm). I just subconsciously started writing "give me two perrs, i need two perrs" in the middle of a citation.
crazy times in the middle of nowhere.

(god, nelly really sucks, but this song is so stupid it's fun as all hell, i mean, fucking hell, it's a sort...
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