... the weekend with Theis was all it should have been. it was stupid and addolescent and misspelled and fun and thoughtful and all that. we're gonna save for a month or so and move to the south for lack of anything else to do. i still want to go to CalArts but, honestly, haven't a portfolio worth bollocks due to my lack of 'finishing' anything and need a year or so to work on it ... but that's just the responsible reason to move somewhere ...
neither of us is happy with our life and no changes seem radical enough to make us actually get perspective ... like ... this seems like a time for something significant and ... god i don't know ... i just want to be somewhere without any memory attached. i'm sick of being 'attached' through remembering times it was worse or better *there* or *here*
have you seen hard candy? it came out on dvd last week and sort of blew me away. maybe i've just been doing too much reading on slashers/revenge movies but i think it's *REALLY* fucking good ... and amazingly unpleasant ...
i think i'm just fucking sick to death with being conservative in the slightest. i'm sick to death of using 'something to do' as a reason to not move. i'm sick of using the potential of university as an excuse to move somewhere or change my life. it's either love or school. those have NEVER been worthwhile reasons, thus far. so i might as well just fuck off with theis while i can still get shit jobs and live in utter poverty without it seeming significant.
the south has no winter to speak of.
c.
rizzo:
no, this girl tries very hard not to get herself either arrested or pulled over. It also helps that I work in the mall so I get to know a lot of the cops which is my ticket out of a ticket.