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somuchrain

oh son go down to the water

Member Since 2005

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Saturday May 06, 2006

May 6, 2006
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Courageously ... with grace.

A continuing obsession with Miranda July. It's genius but almost my fucking age, which leads to resentment (ooo! how catty!) ... that whole 'not having done enough' thing. Jesus Christ, Nietzsche (ba-zing! name drop!) was right!

Too much of random people vomiting. It's like high school .... "objectively speaking... would you think 'that guy looks OK, he looks like a guy who might have a wife and kids and stuff.'" It's pathetic, really ... by my own standards, not those who know her, up to whom I am writing, that I want to look like a guy that would have kids and stuff, and the wife at home. And fucking not at home! Neither of us should sell ourselves so short.

Question: What is more tedious than speaking to someone with a tedious job?
Answer: Speaking to someone forced to be a house-wife.

I'm so sick of caring about the size of my dick (baazing!... but really, it fits into the conversation happening in my bedroom) and about whether or not she comes .. .need emotion be based on a bodily reaction as significant as taking a shit? Have not any of you farted and had it feel as good as a random orgasm? I mean, really now, need we give this much power to our genitalia?

It's a thin red rope that connects us to our history. When we read, wrapped in bed together, it rained, and I could see the veins in your wrist, as you gripped, between your thumb and forefinger, the width of the book. I love you, then, and now, and have hope for half of it, which I work for, as with half of my blood?

(not that even this 'taking a shit' hasn't made me feel worth-while for most of the time i've been with her, or not ... jesus .. men are easier)

space space dash.

High school friends, not mine, retching into too-clean-to-meet-the-mark toilet bowls. Why can't Americans spell? What an odd place we, raised half American and half-anti-American are in? What an odd place I feel?

"And it does get dark ... when I call a name .. it will be your name ... let's go everywhere ... even though were scared 'cos its life and its happening ... its really really happening ... right now."

Kata Mathaion. He was born and birthed so much Gore. At times it's a heroic beautiful gore which, so far from my uncle and Mother I can worship. At times I hate my father because he's English, and at times because he's my father. It's a blood-feud.

Alright, now let's kiss to make it real, ok?

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