sometimesaway

i keep calling off work. days get darker. nights more soaked and avoidance. women too close pushed away. these are strange strange days.

i dont know where i'm heading now. i can't seem to feel my feet enough to know if i'm walking. just strange days. strange soft days.

these days no imprints get made. my fingers can't push through this thing around me. this bubble.

some aay i need different work. that i wasn't cut out to watch horrible family's acting horrible. i don't know. i don't even feel it anymore. i've cut off the part of me that recognizes terrible parenting as something that shouldn't happen. i'm distanced from it.

i just keep buying the kids food that mom forgets to buy. i keep avoiding the broken homes with no comfort or sustainanc, but the highest form of cable.

i wasn't made for this. i should be waiting tables again.

i keep trying to get fired. but they just keep telling me what a good job i'm doing.


ugh

i can't seem to touch things. to change things. my words don't seem to matter. not to the family's i work with, not to my boss whom i try to get help from, not from the world which is ignoring me at the moment.

*sigh*

i'm gonna go back to sleep again.


Adam