i wonder sometimes ...
i'm sitting here writing this journal entry, in a tommy hilfiger (sic?) blue and white shirt, its got ridiculously preppy blue and white stripes kinda around the neck (this is really difficult to describe) ... basically its about the most preppy-shirt you could possibly buy without giving the impression that your are the proud owned of a whites-only golf course or something.
As I sit, I remember that I just read the new interivew with Mark Spitz, and thought to myself, "man, he's hardcore," and "i remember when i was a little punk guy." and "he's both cares about his image of being educated and intelligent, and its completely fucked up." Then I look down and see my gap shorts (my apartment's ridiculously hot)
wow jon, way to grow up and not care about clothes and image
What the fuck is up with that? Do I really not care, and have nice clothes b/c i like them (this shirt is actually a present, and i don't like it). Or, do I really care about giving off an image of being in control and 'looking good.' I think the truth is the latter, which is ironic because I still want to identity with fucked up people like Spitz who don't give a shit. Maybe I want to identify with him because he doesn't give a shit, but then does. What's wrong with dividing your personal goals along socially-drawn lines (education/status vs. charisma/apathy)?
I'm happy the way I am, mildly crazy hair and a banana republic jacket. The workaholic pre-med and the pothead. Should I just live my life and stop questioning it all the time? It seems like no one else really cares. Do i just want to be attractive?
blah ... no one else cares ... i'm being paranoid.
i'm sitting here writing this journal entry, in a tommy hilfiger (sic?) blue and white shirt, its got ridiculously preppy blue and white stripes kinda around the neck (this is really difficult to describe) ... basically its about the most preppy-shirt you could possibly buy without giving the impression that your are the proud owned of a whites-only golf course or something.
As I sit, I remember that I just read the new interivew with Mark Spitz, and thought to myself, "man, he's hardcore," and "i remember when i was a little punk guy." and "he's both cares about his image of being educated and intelligent, and its completely fucked up." Then I look down and see my gap shorts (my apartment's ridiculously hot)
wow jon, way to grow up and not care about clothes and image
What the fuck is up with that? Do I really not care, and have nice clothes b/c i like them (this shirt is actually a present, and i don't like it). Or, do I really care about giving off an image of being in control and 'looking good.' I think the truth is the latter, which is ironic because I still want to identity with fucked up people like Spitz who don't give a shit. Maybe I want to identify with him because he doesn't give a shit, but then does. What's wrong with dividing your personal goals along socially-drawn lines (education/status vs. charisma/apathy)?
I'm happy the way I am, mildly crazy hair and a banana republic jacket. The workaholic pre-med and the pothead. Should I just live my life and stop questioning it all the time? It seems like no one else really cares. Do i just want to be attractive?
blah ... no one else cares ... i'm being paranoid.