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someozone

Member Since 2003

Followers 3 Following 16

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Thursday Dec 04, 2003

Dec 4, 2003
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fuck an update ... i'll write a new entry.

yeah ... i got on the 'alternate list' @ U Chicago. This is basically a rejection, as only a couple people actually get acceptances from this list, and there's another filtering process in May where the list becomes a "waiting list" ... fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK

No matter how many times I try to dissuade people from the idea, and I brushed off the notion when thinking about it to myself. I really was hoping for Chicago, and I think I really like it better than the other one (thats a big number ain't it) other good school I've been offered an interview.

Also, like I try to explain to all my relatives and some friends, there really is not way of knowing why people are rejected, while other comparable people are accepted. However, I can only assume that my interview is where I failed to make the grade. Its wasn't great. There are, of course, other reasons why i may have been rejected ... i am far from a compassionate machine (and, let's face it, these things are so competative that this is what they are basically accepting) ... I haven't been doing a lot of medically-related work, or at least, I haven't really left a mark at any over them. I haven't been published, whether or not that a good indication of my performance in the lab. I don't have a 3.8, but fuck that.

I realize the solipicism in feeling that, after working this hard and sacrificing hours and hours of fun, I deserve to get into a tier one school. There are plenty of people, good, hard-working, empathetic people who worked their asses off, some more than I did, and didn't happen to do well on the MCATs, or just didn't getting the leadership experience or something, and end up in a worse position than I am. They, in many ways (and in some perspectives ways all of them) are just as deserving as I am of getting into good schools. They, undoubtably, will be become good doctors, if they choose to be. There are people who are smart and are realistic about their desire to become doctors, and know that they do not have a great chance of being accepted at all. Why should I feel that I should be?

Well, I suppose in one way, its because I think that most schools think I should be (thought this obvious is telling of some irrationality on my part, as i haven't really gotten many interviews). I've got good grades, great MCAT scores, I'm running two different programs, including any either research journal, I have good recommendations as far as I can tell. blah blah blah blah blah. There's nothing I can say about it. They didn't want me. And I'm sure they are justified in their decision.

Lets hope that other schools feel differently ...

suck.

Disclaimer: this blog commits the hamartia of blogs, whinning and uninhibited honesty. I've tried to make it toned down (there would be lot more fucks), and i would sound a lot more arrogant (as we sometimes are when we feel humbled and humiliated). Please believe me when I claim to not be a huge fuck. Somtimes it difficult when I forget that I really don't know anyone who reads this (yes, that's you, you're the only one)

-j

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