How To Lead a Lonely Life of Success: A response to 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person
I recently read an article on Cracked entitled 6 harsh truths that will make you a better person. Written by David Wong, the piece goes on to list 6 examples (surprise!) of truth that essentially demonstrate that the sum of an individuals worth is in what they have to offer to society.
Or put another way too many people whine and complain about whats lacking in their lives instead of spending that time on bettering themselves.
And put in the overall voice of the piece, if youre a lazy slob and youre unhappy with yourself and your life, get off your ass and do something about it.
Its something of a tough love approach, one that for the most part I agree with, but when it comes to being a Better Person theres a rather large chunk missing from the article.
I fully appreciate that it is intentionally inflammatory. Much like the example given of Alec Baldwins speech from Glengary Glenn Ross, this was meant to piss people off and split the audience down the middle. The fact that Im even writing this is an example of how effective the article is and a further example of what I found to be the pieces message. It is both hurtful and enraging while being inspirational and motivating.
That said going off of that same example, Alec Baldwins character may be succeeding at life, but I sure as hell wouldnt want to be stuck on an island with that tool. Being a motivated, intelligent, and successful douchebag doesnt make you any less of a douchebag, it just means people will put up with more of your shit.
And thats whats missing from this piece, being a nice person might not be enough to make you a winner at life, but just because society is willing to put up with your bullshit, doesnt mean your loved ones will be. Winning at life and being completely alone hardly seems like winning.
6. The World Only Cares About What It Can Get From You.
Theres a line from the film How to Marry a Millionaire that goes something like this. Marilyn Monroe is constantly accosted by her soon to be step-father for being a gold digging lady of ill repute for going after his millionaire son(OMG Title!). Near the films end she finally turns to him and says Dont you know a man being rich is like a girl being pretty? Its not why you marry them, but it certainly doesnt hurt. Which is a rather blunt and accurate statement coming from the ditsy blonde.
This actually gets into another point, which is that 6 Harsh Truths is quite clearly coming from and written for a male perspective. Id be very curious to hear a rebuttal/similar argument from a female point of view.
But getting back on track, its undeniable that we are all evaluated on what we are able to offer on a surface level. You dont meet a complete stranger and think to yourself about how youd like to spend the next whatever years of your life getting to truly know them unless they have something that is of immediate value to you. Its only after you find an immediately desirable trait that you decide to delve further. But then the question becomes, do you stick around?
David Wong gives an example of a crisis situation, your loved one is shot and dying on the ground and a stranger runs up willing to help. In this situation you dont give a flying shit how great of a person this good Samaritan is, you just want to know if they are actually able to help. If theyre not a doctor and have no actual medical knowledge what does it matter that they help old ladies across the street?
The point being, we dont care about intentions. We only care about results.
But that certainly paints a rather cold and callous portrait of society.
In a crisis situation the immediately useful skills are the most important. But we cannot live our lives consistently in a crisis state. If the man who offers to help is a doctor, but you find out hes also a raging racist, youre not exactly inviting him over to dinner afterwards. You might keep him around if his skills are needed but youre probably not going to be happy about it and the second you find a better option youre going to take it.
Its pretty easy to see how someone could read over David Wongs article and come away expecting a world without love or care, a cold and cruel world where the strong and successful survive and the weak and failing live in misery.
Which we all know to some degree is a harsh truth of the world.
But if thats your only focus you can expect to lead a very lonely life of success.
5. The Hippies Were Wrong
And heres where the scene from Glengary Glenn Ross comes into play. Alec Baldwin rips into his employees asserting his dominance like a giant ol alpha male bag of dicks.
David Wong points out the brilliance of this scene, how it so expertly divides the audience between what an asshole the character is, and how motivating his speech can be. That if you were to be present in that room there would be essentially two reactions, to be impressed and motivated or to quietly seethe in anger and insecurity.
Well I think theres something of a third option, personally Im motivated by the speech and by the article as a whole. Because its true, a large part of life is about what you can make of yourself and what you can do to impress your peers.
But I sure as hell dont want to be that guy and I sure as hell wouldnt tolerate being talked to like that.
What good are the fancy watch and car if everyone around you hates your guts?
Does every hero really need a villain? Makes for a good story, but is that really how we want life to be? Isnt the ultimate goal for us all to get along?
Harsh truths can still be delivered with kindness. Tough love can be effective, but the only reason to intentionally put someone down is to feel better about yourself. That character is an arrogant douchebag who may have a point, but the respect he has would disappear the instant his money did.
Now Alec Baldwin in 30 Rock, thats an arrogant self righteous business man I can get behind. I like to think that theyre one and the same and Captain Douchey-pants went through sort of emotional and spiritual transformation and decided not to devote his life to being a complete fuckwad.
At any rate there is a bigger question here, and that is of happiness.
David Wongs point wasnt to say that money and success are the only things that will make us happy. But more to point out very bluntly to all the people whining about the things that they dont have, that they NEVER will have them, unless they are able to offer something in return.
Thats just the way the world works.
However building the skills and amassing the wealth that can lead to getting the things we want in life, doesnt necessarily equate to happiness.
There have been numerous recent studiers of lottery winners, and how their happiness spikes for a brief period of time, and then returns to their previous state.
And that is where this piece can send the wrong message. If you arent happy with yourself then youre never going to be happy.
And if you arent happy with yourself you cant really be happy with others and youll never have a truly meaningful connection.
The Hippies werent wrong, sometimes all you DO need is love. But if you use that as an excuse to laze about and live a life without contributing anything then youre just abusing the society you live in. Living a life focused on love and understanding doesnt mean you get a free pass from working for a living, but it also doesnt mean that being a wealthy asshole makes you better then a lazy hippie.
4. What You Produce Does Not Have to Make Money But It Does Have To Benefit People.
This is where I give this article the most credit. You want to be interesting and attractive to people? Have something to offer. Have something that you are proud of and can demonstrate in an effective and meaningful way.
A Rock Star may not be able to save a dying mans life, but they can move us in a way that others cant and thus have groupies falling all over themselves to get the chance to do the no pants dance.
Whats not been said is that sometimes being a nice person CAN be something to offer.
This article spends a lot of time bashing the idea of the nice guy and for the most part rightly so. Too often people use nice as a way to excuse the lack of anything else interesting or attractive about the person in question. How often have you heard something along the lines of Hes really nice but. That but can be quite a killer. But theres a difference between being nice in hopes of gaining something in return and being someone who genuinely cares.
Sometimes when you break down the basis of our society, all the money, success, and talent, is just an illusion. When you really break it down were all just animals trying to survive, and all the things weve created with our big sexy brains are just a means for us to survive more efficiently and comfortably. But even with all the things weve created to make our lives easier, often what we really crave is someone who cares, and who understands. And in those moments, if that is truly offered on a real level, it is something that cannot be found elsewhere.
If this werent true there wouldnt be a flood of cheesy Rom-Coms every year.
Sure the stars of those Rom Coms are all ridiculously good looking people generally playing interesting and successful characters, but the chord those films strike is that there is someone out there that will love us for us. That meaningful connections exist and that we can find someone who truly understands us.
And I believe that these connections do exist and that when you break down whats really important in your life, theyre at the top.
But of course we are flighty creatures with an unending variety of insatiable desires and when we have something for too long we begin to take it for granted.
Love and understanding are very important qualities in a person, but if they have little else to offer our interest and attraction begin to turn to those that do.
There has to be a happy medium. Being a better person means not only improving your skills and talents, but improving your communication with and understanding of those around you.
3. You Hate Yourself Because You Dont Do Anything
If you want to be happy with yourself you have things that you are proud of about yourself.
You dont have to be Batman (but if you were youd probably feel PRETTY cool), but the more that you have about yourself that you find to be interesting and attractive qualities the more people will be interested and attracted to you.
We are often willing to help others, but only for so long and only those who are willing to help themselves. Kindness and generosity are not dead, but they can only go so far if the recipients do nothing but take.
If you want something in life, you have to be willing to give for it.
Its only fair to expect from yourself what you expect from others.
2. What You Are Inside Only Matters Because of What It Makes You Do
Our actions define us. Good intentions mean something, but overall they mean much less then their results.
Having good intentions will only be forgiven for so long if your actions are causing consistent and persistent harm. Even if that harm is only being kind of annoying. Weve all had that irritating person in our lives weve questioned our friendship with. The good qualities have to outweigh the bad.
Too many of us waste our lives with complaints and excuses. You dont have to be President or a famous movie star, and odds are most of you never will. Thats not to say dont try, its just to say that its overall not whats important. Its those thoughts that stop us from trying. We see an obstacle that seems unsurpassable and we back down, becoming comfortable in our misery and living a life of complaint.
If youre only goal in life is to be the next Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie and that just isnt realistically an option, then youre just going to spend your life beating yourself up for not being something you couldnt be in the first place. Youre not going to kick yourself for not being a talking Unicorn, some things are just out of our control.
W all have our own potential and the ability to manage our own happiness. Our desires can adapt to our situation. If you try at something long enough youre bound to have some measure of success.
Happiness is just a state of mind.
1. Everything Inside You Will Fight Improvement
There are a lot of lazy jerks in this world, because thats the easiest available path. And by our very nature we tend to take the easiest available option.
Work is hard, none of us truly WANT to do it, but we certainly want the results. Wed all love to be a professional athlete billionaire super hero scientist, but whos really ready to put in all the work and sacrifice it takes to achieve it?
If you want to be happy, you have to work for it. Unless you happen to be the luckiest person in the world no ones going to come by and just hand you everything you want. And even if they somehow did, youd probably be a pretty shitty person. It is the challenges and hardships in our lives that mold us and it takes self-awareness and intense motivation to build yourself into a better person.
You can spend your whole life getting wrapped up in excuses and complaints and then look back finding yourself with nothing but a wasted life.
I think that David Wongs article is essentially making this message, but what it doesnt touch on is that it also takes love and care for yourself as well.
It may sound like a wishy washy thing to say, but if you dont love yourself how can you love anyone else?
I dont really consider myself a writer, I was inspired by this article and its something I would like to do more of, but its not a skill I feel I can be competitive with. So it was easy for me to get caught up with negative thoughts and feelings in writing this, that it wasnt nearly a good enough piece of writing. That I would be mocked or that it was a waste of my time. But Id started it so I decided might as well finish it.
It may go nowhere and I may decide to put my time and efforts elsewhere in the future, but for now I can at least take a little pride in seeing something through and build from there. Weve all got to start somewhere, no one would ever get anywhere in life if they immediately gave up because they werent good enough. Its all steps of progression, building blocks that enhance ourselves.
And thats throughout every aspect of life. You want to be good at something? You want to be a better person, improving yourself and being valuable to those around you? Then work on making yourself a person you would want to be around.
The only way to live a life without regrets is to learn from your mistakes and look towards the possibilities of the future.
On a surface level this is about developing skills and assets that are of direct use to other members of our society, but on a deeper personal/emotional/spiritual level this is about bettering and loving yourself enough to be able to share that love with others.
As anyone whos been down can attest, sometimes it is having someone there who is truly caring and understanding that allows us to pick ourselves back up.
You dont have to be rich and famous, you just have to be the best you you can be. You can spend your time thinking about all the reasons you cant do something or all the things you dont have and be miserable or you can focus on what you can do to make yourself better and the goals that are within your reach.
Learn to live a life of self improvement and be happy with yourself for doing so. Because when you really boil it down, the only good we can truly do with our lives is learn, grow, and help those around us to do the same.
Do that and youre more then likely to find your own measure of happiness and success.
I recently read an article on Cracked entitled 6 harsh truths that will make you a better person. Written by David Wong, the piece goes on to list 6 examples (surprise!) of truth that essentially demonstrate that the sum of an individuals worth is in what they have to offer to society.
Or put another way too many people whine and complain about whats lacking in their lives instead of spending that time on bettering themselves.
And put in the overall voice of the piece, if youre a lazy slob and youre unhappy with yourself and your life, get off your ass and do something about it.
Its something of a tough love approach, one that for the most part I agree with, but when it comes to being a Better Person theres a rather large chunk missing from the article.
I fully appreciate that it is intentionally inflammatory. Much like the example given of Alec Baldwins speech from Glengary Glenn Ross, this was meant to piss people off and split the audience down the middle. The fact that Im even writing this is an example of how effective the article is and a further example of what I found to be the pieces message. It is both hurtful and enraging while being inspirational and motivating.
That said going off of that same example, Alec Baldwins character may be succeeding at life, but I sure as hell wouldnt want to be stuck on an island with that tool. Being a motivated, intelligent, and successful douchebag doesnt make you any less of a douchebag, it just means people will put up with more of your shit.
And thats whats missing from this piece, being a nice person might not be enough to make you a winner at life, but just because society is willing to put up with your bullshit, doesnt mean your loved ones will be. Winning at life and being completely alone hardly seems like winning.
6. The World Only Cares About What It Can Get From You.
Theres a line from the film How to Marry a Millionaire that goes something like this. Marilyn Monroe is constantly accosted by her soon to be step-father for being a gold digging lady of ill repute for going after his millionaire son(OMG Title!). Near the films end she finally turns to him and says Dont you know a man being rich is like a girl being pretty? Its not why you marry them, but it certainly doesnt hurt. Which is a rather blunt and accurate statement coming from the ditsy blonde.
This actually gets into another point, which is that 6 Harsh Truths is quite clearly coming from and written for a male perspective. Id be very curious to hear a rebuttal/similar argument from a female point of view.
But getting back on track, its undeniable that we are all evaluated on what we are able to offer on a surface level. You dont meet a complete stranger and think to yourself about how youd like to spend the next whatever years of your life getting to truly know them unless they have something that is of immediate value to you. Its only after you find an immediately desirable trait that you decide to delve further. But then the question becomes, do you stick around?
David Wong gives an example of a crisis situation, your loved one is shot and dying on the ground and a stranger runs up willing to help. In this situation you dont give a flying shit how great of a person this good Samaritan is, you just want to know if they are actually able to help. If theyre not a doctor and have no actual medical knowledge what does it matter that they help old ladies across the street?
The point being, we dont care about intentions. We only care about results.
But that certainly paints a rather cold and callous portrait of society.
In a crisis situation the immediately useful skills are the most important. But we cannot live our lives consistently in a crisis state. If the man who offers to help is a doctor, but you find out hes also a raging racist, youre not exactly inviting him over to dinner afterwards. You might keep him around if his skills are needed but youre probably not going to be happy about it and the second you find a better option youre going to take it.
Its pretty easy to see how someone could read over David Wongs article and come away expecting a world without love or care, a cold and cruel world where the strong and successful survive and the weak and failing live in misery.
Which we all know to some degree is a harsh truth of the world.
But if thats your only focus you can expect to lead a very lonely life of success.
5. The Hippies Were Wrong
And heres where the scene from Glengary Glenn Ross comes into play. Alec Baldwin rips into his employees asserting his dominance like a giant ol alpha male bag of dicks.
David Wong points out the brilliance of this scene, how it so expertly divides the audience between what an asshole the character is, and how motivating his speech can be. That if you were to be present in that room there would be essentially two reactions, to be impressed and motivated or to quietly seethe in anger and insecurity.
Well I think theres something of a third option, personally Im motivated by the speech and by the article as a whole. Because its true, a large part of life is about what you can make of yourself and what you can do to impress your peers.
But I sure as hell dont want to be that guy and I sure as hell wouldnt tolerate being talked to like that.
What good are the fancy watch and car if everyone around you hates your guts?
Does every hero really need a villain? Makes for a good story, but is that really how we want life to be? Isnt the ultimate goal for us all to get along?
Harsh truths can still be delivered with kindness. Tough love can be effective, but the only reason to intentionally put someone down is to feel better about yourself. That character is an arrogant douchebag who may have a point, but the respect he has would disappear the instant his money did.
Now Alec Baldwin in 30 Rock, thats an arrogant self righteous business man I can get behind. I like to think that theyre one and the same and Captain Douchey-pants went through sort of emotional and spiritual transformation and decided not to devote his life to being a complete fuckwad.
At any rate there is a bigger question here, and that is of happiness.
David Wongs point wasnt to say that money and success are the only things that will make us happy. But more to point out very bluntly to all the people whining about the things that they dont have, that they NEVER will have them, unless they are able to offer something in return.
Thats just the way the world works.
However building the skills and amassing the wealth that can lead to getting the things we want in life, doesnt necessarily equate to happiness.
There have been numerous recent studiers of lottery winners, and how their happiness spikes for a brief period of time, and then returns to their previous state.
And that is where this piece can send the wrong message. If you arent happy with yourself then youre never going to be happy.
And if you arent happy with yourself you cant really be happy with others and youll never have a truly meaningful connection.
The Hippies werent wrong, sometimes all you DO need is love. But if you use that as an excuse to laze about and live a life without contributing anything then youre just abusing the society you live in. Living a life focused on love and understanding doesnt mean you get a free pass from working for a living, but it also doesnt mean that being a wealthy asshole makes you better then a lazy hippie.
4. What You Produce Does Not Have to Make Money But It Does Have To Benefit People.
This is where I give this article the most credit. You want to be interesting and attractive to people? Have something to offer. Have something that you are proud of and can demonstrate in an effective and meaningful way.
A Rock Star may not be able to save a dying mans life, but they can move us in a way that others cant and thus have groupies falling all over themselves to get the chance to do the no pants dance.
Whats not been said is that sometimes being a nice person CAN be something to offer.
This article spends a lot of time bashing the idea of the nice guy and for the most part rightly so. Too often people use nice as a way to excuse the lack of anything else interesting or attractive about the person in question. How often have you heard something along the lines of Hes really nice but. That but can be quite a killer. But theres a difference between being nice in hopes of gaining something in return and being someone who genuinely cares.
Sometimes when you break down the basis of our society, all the money, success, and talent, is just an illusion. When you really break it down were all just animals trying to survive, and all the things weve created with our big sexy brains are just a means for us to survive more efficiently and comfortably. But even with all the things weve created to make our lives easier, often what we really crave is someone who cares, and who understands. And in those moments, if that is truly offered on a real level, it is something that cannot be found elsewhere.
If this werent true there wouldnt be a flood of cheesy Rom-Coms every year.
Sure the stars of those Rom Coms are all ridiculously good looking people generally playing interesting and successful characters, but the chord those films strike is that there is someone out there that will love us for us. That meaningful connections exist and that we can find someone who truly understands us.
And I believe that these connections do exist and that when you break down whats really important in your life, theyre at the top.
But of course we are flighty creatures with an unending variety of insatiable desires and when we have something for too long we begin to take it for granted.
Love and understanding are very important qualities in a person, but if they have little else to offer our interest and attraction begin to turn to those that do.
There has to be a happy medium. Being a better person means not only improving your skills and talents, but improving your communication with and understanding of those around you.
3. You Hate Yourself Because You Dont Do Anything
If you want to be happy with yourself you have things that you are proud of about yourself.
You dont have to be Batman (but if you were youd probably feel PRETTY cool), but the more that you have about yourself that you find to be interesting and attractive qualities the more people will be interested and attracted to you.
We are often willing to help others, but only for so long and only those who are willing to help themselves. Kindness and generosity are not dead, but they can only go so far if the recipients do nothing but take.
If you want something in life, you have to be willing to give for it.
Its only fair to expect from yourself what you expect from others.
2. What You Are Inside Only Matters Because of What It Makes You Do
Our actions define us. Good intentions mean something, but overall they mean much less then their results.
Having good intentions will only be forgiven for so long if your actions are causing consistent and persistent harm. Even if that harm is only being kind of annoying. Weve all had that irritating person in our lives weve questioned our friendship with. The good qualities have to outweigh the bad.
Too many of us waste our lives with complaints and excuses. You dont have to be President or a famous movie star, and odds are most of you never will. Thats not to say dont try, its just to say that its overall not whats important. Its those thoughts that stop us from trying. We see an obstacle that seems unsurpassable and we back down, becoming comfortable in our misery and living a life of complaint.
If youre only goal in life is to be the next Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie and that just isnt realistically an option, then youre just going to spend your life beating yourself up for not being something you couldnt be in the first place. Youre not going to kick yourself for not being a talking Unicorn, some things are just out of our control.
W all have our own potential and the ability to manage our own happiness. Our desires can adapt to our situation. If you try at something long enough youre bound to have some measure of success.
Happiness is just a state of mind.
1. Everything Inside You Will Fight Improvement
There are a lot of lazy jerks in this world, because thats the easiest available path. And by our very nature we tend to take the easiest available option.
Work is hard, none of us truly WANT to do it, but we certainly want the results. Wed all love to be a professional athlete billionaire super hero scientist, but whos really ready to put in all the work and sacrifice it takes to achieve it?
If you want to be happy, you have to work for it. Unless you happen to be the luckiest person in the world no ones going to come by and just hand you everything you want. And even if they somehow did, youd probably be a pretty shitty person. It is the challenges and hardships in our lives that mold us and it takes self-awareness and intense motivation to build yourself into a better person.
You can spend your whole life getting wrapped up in excuses and complaints and then look back finding yourself with nothing but a wasted life.
I think that David Wongs article is essentially making this message, but what it doesnt touch on is that it also takes love and care for yourself as well.
It may sound like a wishy washy thing to say, but if you dont love yourself how can you love anyone else?
I dont really consider myself a writer, I was inspired by this article and its something I would like to do more of, but its not a skill I feel I can be competitive with. So it was easy for me to get caught up with negative thoughts and feelings in writing this, that it wasnt nearly a good enough piece of writing. That I would be mocked or that it was a waste of my time. But Id started it so I decided might as well finish it.
It may go nowhere and I may decide to put my time and efforts elsewhere in the future, but for now I can at least take a little pride in seeing something through and build from there. Weve all got to start somewhere, no one would ever get anywhere in life if they immediately gave up because they werent good enough. Its all steps of progression, building blocks that enhance ourselves.
And thats throughout every aspect of life. You want to be good at something? You want to be a better person, improving yourself and being valuable to those around you? Then work on making yourself a person you would want to be around.
The only way to live a life without regrets is to learn from your mistakes and look towards the possibilities of the future.
On a surface level this is about developing skills and assets that are of direct use to other members of our society, but on a deeper personal/emotional/spiritual level this is about bettering and loving yourself enough to be able to share that love with others.
As anyone whos been down can attest, sometimes it is having someone there who is truly caring and understanding that allows us to pick ourselves back up.
You dont have to be rich and famous, you just have to be the best you you can be. You can spend your time thinking about all the reasons you cant do something or all the things you dont have and be miserable or you can focus on what you can do to make yourself better and the goals that are within your reach.
Learn to live a life of self improvement and be happy with yourself for doing so. Because when you really boil it down, the only good we can truly do with our lives is learn, grow, and help those around us to do the same.
Do that and youre more then likely to find your own measure of happiness and success.