some_crazeh_dood

The things I do for people (friends, people who are very close to me, etc.) goes beyond what is expected. The way I get treated for doing such things is ridiculous and I always try to put a happy face on things. I get taken for granted because I'm always willing to help someone out whatever it is and "they" always come to me if they need anything. I usually help them out but when I ask for something in return, I somehow get bitched at or "they'll" leave angry at me for no apparent reason. I'm at the point where I'm done helping anyone but myself because I get ZERO in return... absolutely nothing. And I don't ask for much, I honestly don't. It really upsets me that what I ask for isn't much and when someone says "sure, I'll do that" or "Yeah, definitely." and then don't, it hurts.

I think I trust people too much and this maybe the reason why I'm always taken for granted too. I tired going to sleep but just couldn't and needed SOMEONE to talk to but... yeah, another empty promise which will be followed by a "I'm sorry I couldn't." But again, this will all somehow be my fault for even bringing it up and "they'll" get mad at me for no reason. I"m at the point where I'm about to say "Fuck it" and let it all go and not give a shit anymore because I don't deserve half the crap that I go through. I'm just sick and tired of everything and when I say it hurts when they do these things to me, it does.

*siiiigh*
I guess I'll try to go back to bed and see how tomorrow goes. My life is shit right now so whatever; it's not as if people give a shit so...

bye.