DEIMOS DEIMOS DEIMOS DEIMOS DEIMOS DEIMOS!
like a sponge I absorbed reality as the spillage of an infant tossing the glass to the floor. FEAR! PANIC! a disgusting display of the most baroque of poses etched deep in my core, the expressions surfacing on the billion mile journey.... Yes. Reality sank in.
I've had an epiphany relating to myself! I HAVE AN ANXIETY DISORDER!!! discovered with the symbolic archaeological brush used to neatly sweep away the useless clutter that blankets my questionably collective memory, I unearthed a most disrupting detail about myself never explored. never had to. This thing most commonly defined as "jealousy" in combination with "panic" and "fear". yes. a delicious brew concocted by the brilliant chemist GOD has managed to overrun the latter section of my hellish ride to Tucson. Making the voyage all the more unbearable.
I had visions of someone traversing to a Baskin Robin's parlor and tasting several flavors. THE CONE! THE CONE! god god. this is real. As I fail to notice my speed fluxuating as violently as my heartbeat or consider that I'm losing my voice screaming at myself for being such a BASKET CASE! I need medicine. a lot of freakin medicine..... and if my prayers are answered, this tubular circuit key wrapped around my blood saturated fist will open the gates to a parallel universe where I'm NOT such a blithering JACKASS!
**JEAAALLOOUUUUUSSSSYYYYYYYY********
and I can't take a deep breath to calm down cause I lost my breath the other night. in a thimble. with my rapidly accelerating, unnaturally aspirated heart (which is about to burst into stage four)
THAT..... is when you know it's real. When it means enough to you to cause a quake the richter couldn't read. I admit it. Fuck cloud nine! I'm past the mesosphere...
And I pray that I never go numb. I rather despise my subconscious right now. I am very much afraid. I am very much jealous. I am.
so, to end this enigmatic display of my personal TOMFOOLERY I'll share a proverbial declaration that struck me as a fist to the neck during the final stages of my adventure....
Humor is important in a relationship.
That's why I laugh when you ask for your VCR back.
like a sponge I absorbed reality as the spillage of an infant tossing the glass to the floor. FEAR! PANIC! a disgusting display of the most baroque of poses etched deep in my core, the expressions surfacing on the billion mile journey.... Yes. Reality sank in.
I've had an epiphany relating to myself! I HAVE AN ANXIETY DISORDER!!! discovered with the symbolic archaeological brush used to neatly sweep away the useless clutter that blankets my questionably collective memory, I unearthed a most disrupting detail about myself never explored. never had to. This thing most commonly defined as "jealousy" in combination with "panic" and "fear". yes. a delicious brew concocted by the brilliant chemist GOD has managed to overrun the latter section of my hellish ride to Tucson. Making the voyage all the more unbearable.
I had visions of someone traversing to a Baskin Robin's parlor and tasting several flavors. THE CONE! THE CONE! god god. this is real. As I fail to notice my speed fluxuating as violently as my heartbeat or consider that I'm losing my voice screaming at myself for being such a BASKET CASE! I need medicine. a lot of freakin medicine..... and if my prayers are answered, this tubular circuit key wrapped around my blood saturated fist will open the gates to a parallel universe where I'm NOT such a blithering JACKASS!
**JEAAALLOOUUUUUSSSSYYYYYYYY********
and I can't take a deep breath to calm down cause I lost my breath the other night. in a thimble. with my rapidly accelerating, unnaturally aspirated heart (which is about to burst into stage four)
THAT..... is when you know it's real. When it means enough to you to cause a quake the richter couldn't read. I admit it. Fuck cloud nine! I'm past the mesosphere...
And I pray that I never go numb. I rather despise my subconscious right now. I am very much afraid. I am very much jealous. I am.
so, to end this enigmatic display of my personal TOMFOOLERY I'll share a proverbial declaration that struck me as a fist to the neck during the final stages of my adventure....
Humor is important in a relationship.
That's why I laugh when you ask for your VCR back.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
"Fear. Fear attracts the fearful. The strong. The weak. The innocent. The corrupt.
Fear.
Fear is my ally."
don't let it bring you down. give it no control. then u r free.
The so called experiences that define us are more painfully leveraged towards the ones we wish we could change. I have few but enough to alter my confidence in the present. a complex. because I would say that I am more likely to avoid disaster than to learn from it.
and here I said I was fearless. but there's a difference between drawing a gun in public and holding the love of another in your hands