STICKYPAD DILDOS ROCK!
As I sit and ponder the reason people need real people to fill the sex drive organism that lives inside us like a giant .. giant... that demands satisfaction.. I thought of sending someone a stickypad dildo for a birthday present. Now since this idea was shot down faster than a 747 would get shot down flying over the white house, I thought I would write about why stickypads should be used as sextoys instead of the generic rubbery plastic dildos of doom.
seriously, when you think about the multiple uses and excuses:
Say you are sitting at work just chillin and feel the need to get off really quick because your job is boring the life out of you, A stickypad dildo would be perfect. It could sit around on your desk and people would go "wow thats an amazing stickypad sculpture". No one would really really think that you of all people would be using a stickypad dildo to satisfy yourself. Anyways, back to the point... You're sitting there chillin with your stpd (stickypad dildo) and you start working up a sweat, furiously pounding the life out of this stpd, and in walks your boss. In any normal situation you would be fired, or asked for sexual favors. but with your stpd in hand, and you being all sweaty you can throw out the excuse "I was working and my stickypads fell off my desk" and then chances are you would get away and possibly even get a raise out of this. With all that sweat on you and your heart racing you're bound to get off. Shirt half unbuttoned.. no biggy, you got so sweaty because of the "work" you had to undo a few buttons. big deal. He would be so busy staring at your chest you would get an even bigger raise because of his fear you're going to sue him for sexual harassment.
Say you do get fired.
You goto court.
Hey judge, this chick was at work fucking herself with a stpd.
YEAH that really is going to go over well with a judge, who would believe it. NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD BELIEVE THIS STORY.
boom, case thrown out, get your job back, get a raise, and gain the respect of the stpd queen of where you work.
Also the stpd could double as an actual stickypad. Say you are sitting around and you answer a phone, the person needs to leave a message, just take off the first layer and you're set. Normally you lose stickypads since they are so small, but since the stpd has so much use to you personally you can't really "lose" your stpd.
Even if you did, no one would even suspect. Whereas you lose a regular generic rubbery plastic dildo of doom, you're fucked (in a not so nice fun comfortable stpd way). DON'T YOU SEE THE USES YET?!?!! HOW COULD ANYONE SAY THEY DON'T WANT THIS AS A PRESENT? SERIOUSLY? WHAT THE HELL? WHY SUCH THE REJECTION!
also: When you're just sitting around outside walking in a dark alley and someone comes and puts a gun to the back of your head, your stpd will protect you. They ask for all your money, try to do bad things, you just whip out the stpd an be like BITCH BACK OFF. Instantiously they will think you are a fucking whacko and run like hell.
Another benefit is the wonderful smell of the used stpd. This is great for anything including the work related scenario. What better way to say "I like my job" than a nice stickynote to your boss that smells of the sweet smell of life liberty and the pursuit of happiness?
sticky pad dildos 19.99 send e-mails for requests.
Each stpd personally made to fit each and every situation
buy them for a friend, buy them for a teacher, buy them for some asshole who is pissing you off and needs a dildo up his ass.
As I sit and ponder the reason people need real people to fill the sex drive organism that lives inside us like a giant .. giant... that demands satisfaction.. I thought of sending someone a stickypad dildo for a birthday present. Now since this idea was shot down faster than a 747 would get shot down flying over the white house, I thought I would write about why stickypads should be used as sextoys instead of the generic rubbery plastic dildos of doom.
seriously, when you think about the multiple uses and excuses:
Say you are sitting at work just chillin and feel the need to get off really quick because your job is boring the life out of you, A stickypad dildo would be perfect. It could sit around on your desk and people would go "wow thats an amazing stickypad sculpture". No one would really really think that you of all people would be using a stickypad dildo to satisfy yourself. Anyways, back to the point... You're sitting there chillin with your stpd (stickypad dildo) and you start working up a sweat, furiously pounding the life out of this stpd, and in walks your boss. In any normal situation you would be fired, or asked for sexual favors. but with your stpd in hand, and you being all sweaty you can throw out the excuse "I was working and my stickypads fell off my desk" and then chances are you would get away and possibly even get a raise out of this. With all that sweat on you and your heart racing you're bound to get off. Shirt half unbuttoned.. no biggy, you got so sweaty because of the "work" you had to undo a few buttons. big deal. He would be so busy staring at your chest you would get an even bigger raise because of his fear you're going to sue him for sexual harassment.
Say you do get fired.
You goto court.
Hey judge, this chick was at work fucking herself with a stpd.
YEAH that really is going to go over well with a judge, who would believe it. NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD BELIEVE THIS STORY.
boom, case thrown out, get your job back, get a raise, and gain the respect of the stpd queen of where you work.
Also the stpd could double as an actual stickypad. Say you are sitting around and you answer a phone, the person needs to leave a message, just take off the first layer and you're set. Normally you lose stickypads since they are so small, but since the stpd has so much use to you personally you can't really "lose" your stpd.
Even if you did, no one would even suspect. Whereas you lose a regular generic rubbery plastic dildo of doom, you're fucked (in a not so nice fun comfortable stpd way). DON'T YOU SEE THE USES YET?!?!! HOW COULD ANYONE SAY THEY DON'T WANT THIS AS A PRESENT? SERIOUSLY? WHAT THE HELL? WHY SUCH THE REJECTION!
also: When you're just sitting around outside walking in a dark alley and someone comes and puts a gun to the back of your head, your stpd will protect you. They ask for all your money, try to do bad things, you just whip out the stpd an be like BITCH BACK OFF. Instantiously they will think you are a fucking whacko and run like hell.
Another benefit is the wonderful smell of the used stpd. This is great for anything including the work related scenario. What better way to say "I like my job" than a nice stickynote to your boss that smells of the sweet smell of life liberty and the pursuit of happiness?
sticky pad dildos 19.99 send e-mails for requests.
Each stpd personally made to fit each and every situation
buy them for a friend, buy them for a teacher, buy them for some asshole who is pissing you off and needs a dildo up his ass.
rumpusparable:
ermmmmmm