so anyway yay for a hurty heartbroken entry.. if you dont want to read it then dont..
okay so we're over.
I really feel like I shouldn't let it completely overwhelm life even though it has. She cheated on me but she told me she that we were already over then (before it happened) because of some of the things she realized about us. I've come to accept that I tried and it didn't work. Maybe next time with someone else I'll try harder. She said I wasn't ready for a serious relationship. Its hard not to blame myself for this even though I know she cheated on me. Im not thinking about the my faults as much though b/c I know they will haunt me for awhile. I'm trying to learn from them. I wish I could just get over this now.
im not hurting so much right now but its probably because my mom gave me some of her meds so now its a lot of numb. its kinda funny. i refused for so long and now look at me. it was something for anxiety. i slept like a bady with it though. I wish I didn't have to pack for a place I dont want to be. Fills me with worries.
We were supposed to be living together this semester. It seems my only options are either having my own bedroom and cheaper rent but living with bree or living with 3 girls and sharing a room with someone with higher rent. I really dont want to live with so many people honestly.. especially b/c they are going to want parties and im not. Id perfer living with bree even with the pain (sorry guys). i have time to think about it and im going to use it and decide rationally. Its a lot to think about and predicting reactions. I think it will take time but I will get over her and we can work through living together. maybe i have too much hope.
Tonight im going to some party probably get smashed out of my mind. i think everyone should kiss and hug me lots .. please no sorries.. just hug me tightly.
ive ditched work twice over this.. I not used to being so weak. i at least tried to go to work today but i kept fighting the tears and then my stomach attacked me and i knew i needed to go. i should be able to deal with this better. i used to be such a stronger person.
i feel like i just need to be held
im not used to this at all and im at a loss as to what to do
ps. im getting my lip pierced
pss thanks for everyone being really nice. thanks for talking to me and listening to me
sorry about the horrendous typos etc.
okay so we're over.
I really feel like I shouldn't let it completely overwhelm life even though it has. She cheated on me but she told me she that we were already over then (before it happened) because of some of the things she realized about us. I've come to accept that I tried and it didn't work. Maybe next time with someone else I'll try harder. She said I wasn't ready for a serious relationship. Its hard not to blame myself for this even though I know she cheated on me. Im not thinking about the my faults as much though b/c I know they will haunt me for awhile. I'm trying to learn from them. I wish I could just get over this now.
im not hurting so much right now but its probably because my mom gave me some of her meds so now its a lot of numb. its kinda funny. i refused for so long and now look at me. it was something for anxiety. i slept like a bady with it though. I wish I didn't have to pack for a place I dont want to be. Fills me with worries.
We were supposed to be living together this semester. It seems my only options are either having my own bedroom and cheaper rent but living with bree or living with 3 girls and sharing a room with someone with higher rent. I really dont want to live with so many people honestly.. especially b/c they are going to want parties and im not. Id perfer living with bree even with the pain (sorry guys). i have time to think about it and im going to use it and decide rationally. Its a lot to think about and predicting reactions. I think it will take time but I will get over her and we can work through living together. maybe i have too much hope.
Tonight im going to some party probably get smashed out of my mind. i think everyone should kiss and hug me lots .. please no sorries.. just hug me tightly.
ive ditched work twice over this.. I not used to being so weak. i at least tried to go to work today but i kept fighting the tears and then my stomach attacked me and i knew i needed to go. i should be able to deal with this better. i used to be such a stronger person.
i feel like i just need to be held
im not used to this at all and im at a loss as to what to do
ps. im getting my lip pierced
pss thanks for everyone being really nice. thanks for talking to me and listening to me
sorry about the horrendous typos etc.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
Hugs and kisses for you.