soiraile

the last two weeks have been terrible with random moments of good thrown in. the last week has been outright awful though. i have no energy to deal with anything or anyone anymore.

first i got into a drunken fight

bloodying my nose and blackening my eye

that wasn't so bad. my nose is slightly crooked now but that doesn't really matter. my sister came to visit which was awesome.

im told we look alike. shes 17 tomorrow or well today. my little sister is growing up... im told she looks like my older sister. shes over 6' so makes a little sense but doesnt do much for my ego as the big sister.

last week i got drunk and went on the prowl. i went after my roommate/good friends girlfriend. i dont remember everything that happened. NO SEX thank god. the whole thing spiraled out of control. this weekend was my roommates birthday and he came to visit. it was very awkward but i stayed sober and in control

again thank god b/c i got a call from a friend who i drove to the hospital. its good to stay sober sometimes. no one else was. a different friend asked me to stay over b/c the whole thing had been so upsetting. we stayed in bed until 4pm. that night i drank more and got rather tipsy and stayed with my friend again trying to avoid drama but not quite succeeding. we drew each other and drank gin and tonics. the next morning at work i kept getting txt and phone calls from the gf of the roommate the night when i brought my friend to the hospital i had called and bitched at her bc i blamed her for what happened with my friend who was hospitalized and decided angrily not to talk to her anymore so i told her i didnt have anything to say to her. she left me a voicemail calling me immature and telling me that i was just mad at her for choosing my roommate over me (i really wish i knew what i said that night in full).

she ended up telling him lies. i told him everything i remembered. i dont know what he believes.
my friend is out of the hospital and doing alright.

i just want to hide in my room and never leave.

i need a haircut.

heres to the rest of the summer being peaceful and lacking all the drama that my life has been drawing.
i applied for a program in japan. wish me luck. it looks amazing.