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sofia6969

Member Since 2004

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Tuesday Jul 19, 2005

Jul 19, 2005
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Bear with me while I try to convey my feelings about life.
I have always felt that I've been lead down a dark path ever since I was born. It seems that mishaps and misfortunes have followed me since day one.
I realize that there are people who are in worse positions than me.
With each hardship that I have encountered I've grown into the person I am today and the future person that I will be. To simply put it, I've evaluated, grown and am a better person because of it. Of course, it's not as easy as I state it.
There have been a considerable amount of people who have entered and exited my life. And with each and every single person, I have learned good and bad things.
As I sit here and think about everything I have experienced there is yet so much more for me to learn.
Recently, my father passed away from Pancreatic Cancer. He battled the disease for almost a year and a half. Now, my dad wasn't a typical dad. He had a lot of tough love in him and didn't express his feelings often if ever. When I was growing up I found it most difficult to confide in him. What was even more challenging was conceiving that he meant for the best, to my dismay, I discovered this too late.
I cannot even begin to define what it's been like seeing my dad sick. Furthermore, I cannot fathom what it was like for my mother who took care of him day and night. I only experienced a miniscule amount of what he went through.
I digress, I believe that now is the time where I am the most open to change and growth.
These past few months, alone, have taught me very valueable and endearing lessons.
1.) Take care of your body, prepare it for the worse
2.) Tell those who are and are not close to you how you feel whether it's good or bad, you do not know if you'll ever see them again
3.) Remain open in all that you do: spiritually, intellectually, mentally and emotionally
4.) Question yourself and others but do not judge others beliefs or you are truely close minded
5.) Stand up for yourself, speak up or nothing will ever get done
6.) Life is too short to worry about grudges
7.) Embrace your family
8.) True friends will be there for you no matter what, treat them as how you would want to be treated
9.) Laugh, scream, cry and smile or your soul will die
10.) Everyday ask yourself: If I died today would I be satisfied with my life and what I've accomplished thus far?
11.) Never allow room for regret, live in the now not the past
Lastly,
12.) Surround yourself with love, memories, and beauty because it will never be the same afterwards. Remember who you are now because it will never be the same afterwards. Recognize that blood runs thickier than any liquid in the world, it will never change. If all else fails, you will have yourself: dreams, goals, strengths and character.

I hope that you all will experience these lessons, the same or different, at some point in your lives. Wheter it be today, tomorrow or 35 years from now.
These are what make people live and thrive. This is what makes people continue on.

On some brighter notes
I will be actively looking for ocations and wardrobes to finally get my set submitted
Within the next six months I will be promoted to Assit. Store Manager
On the 29th I will be moving out of my horrible apartment away from my horrible roommate to a house with the two most amazing people in the world
I finished paying off all of my debt
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
weso:
And I can relate to some of your path.
Aug 1, 2005
yuriel:
<3
i hope you are doing as well as you can be
-hugs-
we can be friendless friends together right? smile
EL SUICIDO LOCO
Aug 3, 2005

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