Depression is like an old friend who you're not very fond of anymore but who you owe a lot to. It just kind of shows up and you can't turn it away. I was doing pretty good for a while but it came back for a while. The depression, and the insomnia, and the cynicism, and that sickening dead feeling inside. You know, your standard stuff. It's cool though, just needed a few days to sit around and rest my aching brain. My brain is not yet up to full speed yet though so I'll probably not be on for a while. For those of you that care, get in touch with me and don't worry, I'm doing just fine, I'm just in a slump. For those of you that don't....well fuck off I never liked you anyways 
Observation of the day: I love to drive but also hate it. Today, I pulled onto I-95 south as I do everyday to come home from work and tried to take a second or two to marvel at the way the sun dripped through the clouds, like streams of water falling from impossibly high mountains. The light looked like a physical, tangible thing that ran from the sky to the ground in great pillars that would bar your way if you drove up to them. Sometimes, not often but sometimes, I get to admire things like this outside of my car and when I do it's glorious. I close my eyes and tilt my head back and breath in through my nose, happy once again to be alive. Those moments are few and far between unfortunately, as I'm usually too busy rushing around taking care of the things in my life to actually LIVE it. I do like to look though. Seeing things like that, it reminds me that all things serve God, and that maybe there's hope for a miserable wretch like myself after all.
Observation of the day: I love to drive but also hate it. Today, I pulled onto I-95 south as I do everyday to come home from work and tried to take a second or two to marvel at the way the sun dripped through the clouds, like streams of water falling from impossibly high mountains. The light looked like a physical, tangible thing that ran from the sky to the ground in great pillars that would bar your way if you drove up to them. Sometimes, not often but sometimes, I get to admire things like this outside of my car and when I do it's glorious. I close my eyes and tilt my head back and breath in through my nose, happy once again to be alive. Those moments are few and far between unfortunately, as I'm usually too busy rushing around taking care of the things in my life to actually LIVE it. I do like to look though. Seeing things like that, it reminds me that all things serve God, and that maybe there's hope for a miserable wretch like myself after all.
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i did see kill bill - i actually have the song from the opening credits stuck in my head. "bang bang."
and before you can even clearly be aware that
you're once again caught in its cunning grasp.
You're blanking out into space..
I completely hope that you find your way
out of it, though, I don't completely mean it.
Not in a sick sadistic, "I want everyone to be
miserable way." but.. depression truly
shows you the world in a different light.
Create something beautiful.
And, as the way that this entry is written..
I know you're capable of doing that.
Because, truly.. this entry is just beautiful.
It's written in a very lovely way.