OK so I saw Bad Boys 2 and I was right the whole time. Even though it was pretty stupid and plotless, that car chase scene with the cars falling off the back of the truck made it ALLLLLLLLL worth it. Oh and that part with Martin Lawrence and Will Smith fuckin with the girls boyfriend. Hell yeah.
So I took a cab to work the other day (all this OT has allowed me a few petty extravagences) and the cab driver had a few interesting theories.
Theory #1: Hitler is not dead. He is actually the brains behind the majority of the worlds terrorism. Osama Bin Laden, Sadaam Hussein....just puppets of an aging, yet still powerful, Adolf Hitler.
Theory #2: Every black person in this country is a member of a vast conspiracy to overthrow the government. This conspiracy was started by Martin Luther King Jr., who was actually a militant behind the scenes. He told me that when "the revolution comes" he'd be happy to fight for "God's side".
Theory #3: It is impossible for a "pure" white person to be accepted to an ivy league school or a higher management position at any major corporation. When pressed to define what a "pure" white person was he responded "You know, people like me and you".
I can only hope that any similarities between myself and him are just like his crackpot theories: mere figments of his imagination. For those of you who can't grasp the magnitude of his insanity from just that, I've developed a convenient rating system to help. All scores are based on a 100 pt scale.
Inability to grasp reality: 85. While he was aware that there was another person in his cab, and seemed capable of operating the vehicle well enough, he clearly had no grasp of world events that occured in reality. This rating would have been higher but he was a Led Zeppelin fan.
Likability: 1.5. Clearly a bigot and a sociopath, his attitudes and very presence caused a feeling similar to listening to nails on a chalkboard while hungover. This rating would have been lower but hey, he WAS a Led Zeppelin fan...
Sad-idity: 50. While it's difficult to feel bad for anyone as full of hate as this man was, knowing that there are people out there who think like that does put a downer on ones world view, even if your perceptions are slightly fucked anyway.
Cab Driving Ability: 95. Only in a world as messed up as this one could a guy so clearly fucked up be such a good cab driver. He arrived promptly, obeyed the traffic laws, took an excellent route and got me to my destination on time, all for a very reasonable price. He didn't even freak out when I didn't tip him. He even OPENED THE DOOR for me when I got in. Now THAT'S service.
Overall rating: -43,000. When "the revolution" comes, I hope that I can personally make sure this guy is the first against the wall to be shot.
Question of the day: Have you ever dated someone who had a parent who was a cop?
p.s. Here's my poem:
ODE TO A GOLDFISH
Oh wet pet.
So I took a cab to work the other day (all this OT has allowed me a few petty extravagences) and the cab driver had a few interesting theories.
Theory #1: Hitler is not dead. He is actually the brains behind the majority of the worlds terrorism. Osama Bin Laden, Sadaam Hussein....just puppets of an aging, yet still powerful, Adolf Hitler.
Theory #2: Every black person in this country is a member of a vast conspiracy to overthrow the government. This conspiracy was started by Martin Luther King Jr., who was actually a militant behind the scenes. He told me that when "the revolution comes" he'd be happy to fight for "God's side".
Theory #3: It is impossible for a "pure" white person to be accepted to an ivy league school or a higher management position at any major corporation. When pressed to define what a "pure" white person was he responded "You know, people like me and you".
I can only hope that any similarities between myself and him are just like his crackpot theories: mere figments of his imagination. For those of you who can't grasp the magnitude of his insanity from just that, I've developed a convenient rating system to help. All scores are based on a 100 pt scale.
Inability to grasp reality: 85. While he was aware that there was another person in his cab, and seemed capable of operating the vehicle well enough, he clearly had no grasp of world events that occured in reality. This rating would have been higher but he was a Led Zeppelin fan.
Likability: 1.5. Clearly a bigot and a sociopath, his attitudes and very presence caused a feeling similar to listening to nails on a chalkboard while hungover. This rating would have been lower but hey, he WAS a Led Zeppelin fan...
Sad-idity: 50. While it's difficult to feel bad for anyone as full of hate as this man was, knowing that there are people out there who think like that does put a downer on ones world view, even if your perceptions are slightly fucked anyway.
Cab Driving Ability: 95. Only in a world as messed up as this one could a guy so clearly fucked up be such a good cab driver. He arrived promptly, obeyed the traffic laws, took an excellent route and got me to my destination on time, all for a very reasonable price. He didn't even freak out when I didn't tip him. He even OPENED THE DOOR for me when I got in. Now THAT'S service.
Overall rating: -43,000. When "the revolution" comes, I hope that I can personally make sure this guy is the first against the wall to be shot.
Question of the day: Have you ever dated someone who had a parent who was a cop?
p.s. Here's my poem:
ODE TO A GOLDFISH
Oh wet pet.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
this woman wasn't even that old - she was probably fifty or so. not old enough to just not care and be cute - just sort of gross. but interesting, at the same time.
No, I haven't dated anyone who had a cop parent. I had a friend though who dated this guy whose dad was a cop aaaaaand a minister. That kid was fucked!