soeffinhappy

i know what you mean regarding pulling old albums off the shelf. some of the discs that now stand as my very favorites were ones i didn't like at all the first time i listened to them, and it might've taken me a year or two to give them the ear they deserved.

as for your entry, i've demonstrated exactly the same kind of behavior in the past, for almost exactly the same reasons. what i invariably end up thinking is that any woman is going to see right through me talking to her, and assume i'm just trying to get into her pants. while this may or may not be the case (after all, do we not hope that that might eventually happen?), what needs to be remembered, particularly in this instance, is that she made the first move, she was the one to break the silence and speak up. hell, maybe she was thinking it might be nice to eventually get into your pants. i've had more instances than i can count of being too shy and totally unaware of a girl hitting on me/showing interest in me. i always end up kicking myself later when i do realize it, but at the time i find myself paralyzed with fear, just as you seem to be. i wish i had a secret tactic for overcoming it, but i'm not even sure if i've overcome it. good luck though, man...

I think we're related...
all kidding aside.
l know what you're going through. I have no answers, only that times usually makes it go away is just the time waiting that sucks.
The last time I met a girl at the bar I wasn't looking to meet a girl at a bar, i wasn't looking to do anything other than drink myself stupid.
My point?.. Its like the lottery, someone's gotta win.
good luck..

i'm so funk-free i don't even try to fake it. i don't even delude myself into thinking i could get away with it...

fakin' da phunk?!? whatcha talkin' bout yo!
a smooth pimp daddy lover like this here mac-daddy
is oozing muthafuckin phunk- pure, geuine, good ol', greasy, home made phunk.

u b the judge- www.mojahva.com

the jaded part of me says, "She's no different from any woman, she's just honest about only being in it for the money."

bottom line, though: if you're enjoying yourself and can afford it, there's nothing wrong with it. just make sure to keep the real feelings in check, because that is the part you can't buy.

where have you been??

I totally know what you man about reading books... If I'm into a good book, then I'll be done in a day. When they made us read books for class (damned college lit requirement) they would take me FOREVER, or until the night before we reviewed it in class.

Good luck with your novel

this is def a "little bitch of a journal"
sometimes i just want to stab the internet in the eye.

naw, inside all those buildings out there are just more people like us, talking to other people over the internet, and so on and so on.....

hey r those red pencil crayons in something?? wats the sumthing. Amigo....arriba arriba!

your pic... wow! should that be in your list of Body Mods or is it just a random pic you found on the net??

Just curious!
-B

you my friend need to kick yrself in the ass. kinda hard.
then you need to start telling people to fuck off.
start telling yrself to fuck off cos you dont HAVE to be a slave to any one thing ever.
and until you can break that reign fight yrself kickin' and screaming...cos you wont be happy until you do.

p.s.
you got a britney spears song stuck in my head

*ahem* heh ok i can do this.
#1. depends on the occasion
#2 um..batman?
#3 photographer. unsure about other 2.
#4 he has to be funny. i can't really answer this cos i'd just be describing my current romantic interest who i guess is more than just an "interest"
#5 bout 7:30
#6 a little of everything
#7 Cobain, the love of my life.
#8 yes. very.
#9 there will be lots of windows. the bedroom will be HOOKED UP, swimming pool. not sure where or how big/small
#10 well there are many flaws to this question. the first being i have no intention to live till im 80. the second is that i have no intentions of having children.
#11 yeah. or we'll both be poor amd mooching off people forever.
#12 hopefully i'll be in australia. or dead.
#13 well i wouldn't have a girlfriend. but if were so in love then yeah i'd go with.
#14 yes.
#15
#16 it depends. i've done it(and regret it) and i never told him. and after we broke up he never found out anyways, so whats the point of hurting him?
#17 well technically i cared too much about him to hurt him with the truth. its a two way street. i'd never do it again tho.
#18 i see that i am dead. and therefor i am thrilled cos i've always wanted to do that

edited to ask:
q#19. when are we going to p-town? we need to cheer stormy up! pronto!

[Edited on Jul 08, 2003]

ok, let's get to it.

1. boxers
2. Spidey
3. Special-effects makeup artist, voice actor, regular ol' artist.
4. wicked sense of humor, intelligence, down-to-earth(ness?), healthy sexual appetite...
5. N/A
6. modern rock.
7. Maynard
8. Vedder...i haven't paid him any attention in 10 years, i dunno if he's annoying or not.
9. a big house with plenty of land in New Zealand.
10. doesn't matter
11. probably.
12. i've already pledged my allegiance to Generals Claire and Jenny -- http://www.standonguard.com
13. i'd probably go along -- earth's getting pretty dull these days anyway.
14. fuck yes.
15. abso-fucking-lutely.
16. not necessarily, but i would do the next-most-honorable thing (the most honorable being not cheating in the first place) by ending the relationship immediately.
17. considering this really happened (and i did what i said above), i'd say the guilt didn't gnaw at me for too long because the resulting breakup was amicable and would have happened anyway. if i did tell, it'd be a combination of the first and third reasons (they'd find out, and i owed them the truth).
18. people pointing and laughing.

edit - damn URLs

[Edited on Jul 09, 2003]

Dude. I'm goin to see Placebo next week.

I always wanted to have a Ukranian accent when I was younger. Probably cause I admired Oksana Baiul so much. Haha.

Jenna

damn, man. a lotta ground you covered in that entry. i'm jealous, i suck at writing journals.

i am so with you on the russian/eastern european accents on women. H-O-T-T.

as for how kinky i'd get first time...hmmm. that's a good question. probably not very. i tend to stick with what i know and am good at the first time out.

HA HA! i aint got that far yet One day you will all want to be my friend MMWHAHAHH ha HAHA ha HA........ha...he...*sigh*

That pervert cat is still there!

I want to stop wanting.