sodapopinski3031

hey. been gone for a while. a lot seems to have happened over the past month. My aunt died and I took a plane to Chicago for her memorial. It was not the happiest of gatherings. I felt odd and out of place, and surprised at how little my sadness ran. I didnt really feel any emotion. Sometimes that can be the worst. My father was devastated. It was difficult watching him cry. She was his most loved sister.

We visited my grandfather's grave while we were up there. The first time (just after the memorial) looking we started off from the wrong gate and didnt find it. My dad was counting the paces from the gate and my uncle trying to find it from memory, I was looking for Hernandez Rollanado or Blackman, the graves near his. It started raining and eventually we gave up. came back the next day.

In the meantime people were looking for me back in college park because i didnt tell anyobne i was leaving. They filed a missing person report with the university. It was awkward having to tell everyone where I was over and over.

this weekend has been a sad one. The lunchlady just broke it off with me. I'm sad. I went for a death run yesterday and had some pot brownies when I came back. Not sure if it was the brownies or the hurt but I was awake all night. My chest has never felt so heavy.

I have to write a giant paper by tomorrow and I havent started yet. Cant even figure out what I'll do it on and I cant make myself care. I want to go back to bed and stare at the ceiling. Tomorrow morning I have to see the dentist.