socxs

OK I was gone for a little bit and now I am back and hoping for a good while. The Beauty of all the SGs gets me through the hard days and the ladies that make this all such a wonderful place to come to, you are all appreciated and loved, by me and I am sure many others more. It is a hard place where I have been these past few months and I am enrolled in school for the summer and I am hoping that it all goes well enough so I can continue my education. Being forced to go to AA I realized how hypocritical all these people in the world of false salvations. It is more in the internal healing than the belief that some God is going to fix your flaws for you. I did learn how much my hatred runs deep and how much farther I am from being the person I was before. I did start drinking again mostly because of AA, funny right, I stopped drinking for a year and a half on my own. Then forced to go to these meetings I went out to prove to myself I had changed. And I did I can be what i once was but, other things in my life still need work. My pains stem from a deeper trauma and I still don't know what I need to heal from it. But I do know who I am and how strong I am, but if you never had trouble in your life to deal with how do you know if you even lived. And if you never lived, what will people remember you for. I enjoy the beauty in this world because I am afraid that they will be taken from me in the end.

I am sorry this post went from good to a sour note, I just feel lost in a sea of beauty with no one to hold on to.
I wish all well in the summer and that all your paths lead to a greater light or ocean with endless possibilities.

Signed and Firmado,
Socxs-Joe