snyper

Everything seems to be out of order. I'm doing really bad in school. I'm faliing two of my classes, and on the verge of failing one, and I'm only doing good in my English class. All because I was forced to go to Mexico and I can't make up any of the work from when I was gone. And it's all going to be my fault. That's how it goes. I have no voice in anything. I'm not allowed to have an opinion, and everything is my fault.

Along with that, I'm broke. I'm going to have no money by the end of this month. And gas prices are still an arm and a leg. Money troubles. I wish I didn't have to go to Taiwan so I can actually get a job. It's not going to look good if I work for a month or two and then get a break for a month and a half. Again, I'm forced to do things I don't want to and it's my loss.

On top of that, I've been in way too many fights with Jason. And they're not just small arguements, they're straight yelling and screaming, throwing objects at the walls, and driving recklessly, fights. I love him so much, but I don't know where this is going. I don't want to lose him but I feel like I have to let him go.

On Wednesday, I think I almost had a stroke. I'vebeen having migraines everyday. I wake up in the morning with a faint headache and the progresses to migraine. And on Wednesday, my hand went numb, I couldn't eat anything, I was throwing up and when I tried to drive to school, my face went numb and I couldn't see straight. My parents rushed me to the doctors, only to find out that I was fine. I took a blood test the week before, and the results said I was healthy. And I guess my high blood pressure is purely from stress. I am so fucked.

I really just want to run away from everything. I'm not happy. I don't know if I'll ever be. Yeah, life isn't hard. Live, love, repeat. Easier said than fucking done. I don't know. I'm dumb.