snowballinhell

I'm off to Cornwall tomorrow Only for a couple of days, so this is my last update until at least Sunday

I feel I need to clear up one of the points I made yesterday. The one about me having the need to stop eating because of the reading on my scales.

I am currently at 196 pounds (14 stone for us UKers), I am not happy about it, I have only ever been heavier than this when I had the perfect excuse - being pregnant with twins. I hate myself when I'm this heavy, my clothes don't fit right and I just feel uncomfortable. Hence my comment about needing to stop eating. Now obviously I'm not going to do anything stupid, that's not what the comment I made meant. I meant that I need to stop eating all the crap that I've been stuffing my face with recently. Hopefully now that I have eased one financial problem, I can feel better in myself to be able to stop using food as a crutch.

So thank you for all your comments yesterday, but I don't like how I am right now. You may like me big, but I don't, it's not me, well, the me I want to get back to being again. I don't feel sexy, I feel fat, bloated and crap about it all to be honest, but it's only me that can do something about it. I need to do some inner soul searching and just put my mind to getting back into shape again.

Right, size rant over

My son kicked a pigeon today I took him into town because I needed to change my hair appointment from this Saturday (because I'll be in Cornwall now - did I mention I was going to Cornwall?? Because I am ) to next Saturday. On the way back from the salon, we passed a square where people sit and eat their McDonalds or sandwiches, and hence it attracts a lot of pigeons. Pigeons in turn attract my son who then is hell bent on chasing the damn things. Only today one wasn't quick enough to react when the devil child ran screaming towards it and ended up with my sons shoe up its backside - soon moved then, didn't it

Hair - I'm going RED next weekend, I will find the money, my hair NEEDS doing, so I've told her I don't want the blonde this time, I want all RED. So I will share pics next week when I've had it done. I have no idea what shade of RED I'm going to have yet, nor how short or what style I will have either. I think I need to get some hair magazines this week and have a good look.

I want to share some with those of you that need it right now, and also if I've upset anyone with anything I've said on email or in journals, I'm sorry. Sometimes I type without thinking what I'm saying. Have a load of to make up for it if I have. I you all and don't want to have pissed any of you off.

I think I need to go to the doctors. I have an idea I'm suffering with a circulation problem, my right foot hurts like fuck when I lay on it, my ankle bone is swollen and sometimes twice the size of my other one, and I'm always so damn cold, even if I have layers of clothing on. Maybe it's just fluid I don't know.

I need some reading material. I updated my wishlist the other day so that my family have lots more choice when it comes to my birthday in May, but I think I may have to end up getting some of them myself, I have nothing to read at the moment. I need something to get my teeth into, I having a good read when I have a soak in the bath

Ok, this got LONG - whoops

Have a good weekend folks, I'll be away from Thursday lunchtime and not back until Saturday evening, so enjoy yourselves, behave if you know how, and if you don't I want to hear ALL about it

Smooches
Michelle xx