I don't even know how to explain it, it's kind of contradictory. To be happy, yet so utterly depressed.
Things are finally beginning to look up for me on all fronts, and yet I feel so so alone tonight. I just want someone to talk to, to be held, to have my hair stroked and feel someone breathe hot breath on me.
I miss not talking with A properly for the last few days, and not knowing if I've done something to upset him, I miss not having someone I can just hug or pick up the phone to and just cry if I want to. Because although I am happy that I am finally starting to see the glimmer of light at the end of that ever elusive tunnel, tonight I just want to cry, and I don't know why.
In fact, I already am. Gah
It's probably not helped by having found a letter from nearly 20 years ago (when I was 15 and this guy was 17) which reads:
Dear Michelle,
I'm dreadfully sorry I can't be with you this Valentine's Day, I wish this flu would go away. As you know I picked it up on Tuesday and I was hoping to see you yesterday.
I hope I'll be alright for ice-skating tomorrow. I'll probably give you a ring tonight about 5.30pm.
Whatever happens...................I Love You. ( I hope you love me!)
Lots and lots of love, Adrian
I guess I just miss being told by someone that they love me. In whatever context they want love to mean, the true meaning, the lust factor, etc. Hell I'm not even looking for a relationship, I have too much shit in my life to add something as complicated as that into the equation. But I think we all need to at least know that there's someone out there that cares enough about you to want to bring a smile back to your face in times of adversity.
Gah! Someone just shoot me. I think I'm over horny and my text partner isn't around to help me out.
Things are finally beginning to look up for me on all fronts, and yet I feel so so alone tonight. I just want someone to talk to, to be held, to have my hair stroked and feel someone breathe hot breath on me.
I miss not talking with A properly for the last few days, and not knowing if I've done something to upset him, I miss not having someone I can just hug or pick up the phone to and just cry if I want to. Because although I am happy that I am finally starting to see the glimmer of light at the end of that ever elusive tunnel, tonight I just want to cry, and I don't know why.
In fact, I already am. Gah
It's probably not helped by having found a letter from nearly 20 years ago (when I was 15 and this guy was 17) which reads:
Dear Michelle,
I'm dreadfully sorry I can't be with you this Valentine's Day, I wish this flu would go away. As you know I picked it up on Tuesday and I was hoping to see you yesterday.
I hope I'll be alright for ice-skating tomorrow. I'll probably give you a ring tonight about 5.30pm.
Whatever happens...................I Love You. ( I hope you love me!)
Lots and lots of love, Adrian
I guess I just miss being told by someone that they love me. In whatever context they want love to mean, the true meaning, the lust factor, etc. Hell I'm not even looking for a relationship, I have too much shit in my life to add something as complicated as that into the equation. But I think we all need to at least know that there's someone out there that cares enough about you to want to bring a smile back to your face in times of adversity.
Gah! Someone just shoot me. I think I'm over horny and my text partner isn't around to help me out.
infinity:
i know the feeling, when you feel like you're all alone and just want to know that somewhere out there someone is thinking about you. i get it all too often, my life has been rather boring lately and i think its been getting to me...