snow

Snow's theme as of today:

up and down
i hate you...i love you
i hate this...i love this
i hate that...i love that

So right at this moment I am at the emotional phase (which I hate) where everything makes me want to cry. EVERYTHING. So I am losing my car, and quite possibly my apartment. I am not blaming anyone except myself. I could have worked harder. I could have moved. I made the choice to stay in a rut for the past seven years with someone I didn't really love and say "oh it's okay, you don't have to work, I can handle it!" I didn't drink enough fluids and now I am paranoid about a kidney infection. I didn't speak up. It is a very selfish day...
Then there are the things that I have no control over, but I wish I did. Things would be so much easier.

So, since I have no money and I leave in two months...I have been brainstorming...and I now have "Snow's famous money making list". I also have a list of people who I would like to sponsor us on tour...now I just need to email them....and hope that we can get some costumes.

I am trying to be so positive right now. I am fucking smiling. I know that things are going to work out and be okay (even if they aren't okay for another 6 months). Even if I have to live in a fucking cardboard box...I know that I want to go up and not down. So many good things are happening right now in my life...they just have to push the bad things out of the way.

Maybe I need to put out an infomercial.