snow

i am sitting in a black vinyl booth at a bar downtown. i used to work here...sort of...good friend owns the bar, and they are building a new stage. i just came along, to get out of the house. i did drink jager on new year's eve........which led to cosmos, then more jager, more jager, more jager, cranberry vodka, dancing on the bar, woke up with a really sexy girl holding me in the morning. those of you who know me, know that i have been sober for a long time! so it was fun to get out and laugh and dance, meet someone. mary ended up staying for a few days and turned out to be fucking amazing. she reminds me of myself at 24...travelling, on tour, just living. AND i get to use my new canon and take pictures of her...so i win. haha.

my body, was not so happy about the alcohol i have been trying to be really careful about what i put into my body. but yay 2 more weeks and i have surgery. you have no fucking idea how depressed i have been in my dark little hole of an apartment. i don't think that i have ever allowed myself to get this low. fortunately i feel really strong right now...not to sound like a cheeseball...i want to get better. i want to do all of the things that make my eyes light up. whatever.

this mac & cheese is really spicy.