Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

snlchick_ms

Fulton, MS

Member Since 2007

Followers 63 Following 69

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Sunday Aug 19, 2007

Aug 19, 2007
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
Well, today is just a blah day. I don't know how to express all of the feelings going on. They are all so mixed up. I'm happy yet depressed at the same time. I don't know what is going on with me. I even shed tears while driving home from Mississippi today. All I know for certain is that driving alone is not a good thing if your head is swimming with thoughts.

Today, I got started thinking about relationships and how I treat them. As much as I would love to have that compainionship, I'm scared to death of committing to someone. I think all in all, I'm just scared of having my heart broken again. I can't stand crying over someone and not being in control of my emotions. I had a dream the other night that still bothers me.

In my dream, I was in a wonderful relationship. To me it was casual and free flowing. However, I knew that it was at that moment in a relationship where you need to move on to a more serious step. Well, I was driving to go meet my guy for dinner at his house. I was earlier than usual and thought it would be a nice surprise. I walked in and I was so happy. It was like it was one of the best moments of my life when I saw him and was in his arms, kissing him. He then told me that he was going to save it for later, but since I decided to surprise him, he wanted to go on and surprise me too. He then pulled out a ring and told me that he felt it was time to commit to each other. I took one look at the ring, started crying and then grabbed my things and ran.

The thing that scares me is the fact if I would really ever do something like that. I would love to say I wouldn't seeing how happy I seemed to be. But the truth is, would I ever even have a relationship that would get to that point. I always seem to pick them apart so much that it never works out. I always want to run at the first small sign of commitment. I think I need someone who wants to work with me on my issues. Who will understand and who won't let me run. *SIGH* I just don't know....I'm drving myself crazy. I know that I'll get over it soon, I just have to push these things out of my mind.

Anyway, a few better things. I got to spend some time with my family this weekend. On Saturday, I sat around with my mom and dad and listened to my dad just talk and tell stories. It was awesome. I think I could do that all day long. Also, today I got to spend some time with my niece and nephews. It makes me sad to see how much they grow between the times that I see them. It also makes me realize that I really don't know the youngest one at all. However, once she finally warms up to me, she is so funny. She's 3 and she tells all about how she goes to preschool or as she calls it "pretty school." We took some pictures and it was just a really good afternoon.







Here are some of me with my new work friends!










koriana:
It will happen for you. You just have to stop looking and over thinking it. Let it just happen. Easier said then done cause it's a natural instinct to want a companion but it sounds like you still need some self-exploration. I know you've had time to yourself but have you ever taken that time to understand yourself? You surround yourself with friends and family and try to please them but what about Kacy?. Of course you won't be able to figure everything out before meeting someone. You'll always be changing and growing but you need a starting point. You can't have a committed relationship until you have a better understanding of what you want out of life. It makes it much easier to know what you want in a man.
I'm sorry for the rambling but I hope it helps a little. smile

You should rent Cherish. It's not a life changing movie but it does have some perspective.
Aug 22, 2007

More Blogs

  • 12.02.08
    1

    Tuesday Dec 02, 2008

    Hey everyone! So, I'm off from work at my new job today and I was…
  • 09.17.08
    3

    Wednesday Sep 17, 2008

    Hi everyone! I know it's been freaking forever since I blogged. It's…
  • 03.13.08
    1

    Thursday Mar 13, 2008

    I am so so so happy! Tomorrow will be one week left before I get t…
  • 02.23.08
    0

    Saturday Feb 23, 2008

    I am so fucking happy! I actually don't know if I've ever been this h…
  • 02.04.08
    3

    Monday Feb 04, 2008

    Read More
  • 01.14.08
    3

    Monday Jan 14, 2008

    Hi everyone! It seems like my blogs on here are getting to be less an…
  • 12.22.07
    1

    Saturday Dec 22, 2007

    Hi Everyone! Sorry I've been neglecting SG here lately. I'm always so…
  • 12.09.07
    2

    Sunday Dec 09, 2007

    ***SIGH*** Damn the girl....damn the girl. I think it's fina…
  • 11.17.07
    5

    Saturday Nov 17, 2007

    Read More
  • 11.14.07
    2

    Wednesday Nov 14, 2007

    You know, fuck dreams....I swear sometimes I hate them. Last night I…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
9
months
10
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,593 SuicideGirls
  • 1,120,024 followers
  • 14,922,169 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,396,762 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo