I've really been thinking a lot lately. I think I'm about to give up on the boy. 
I'm tired of all the bullshit that has been going on and trying to "catch him." I swear if he doesn't know that I like him, then he is fucking deaf and blind. I'm sick of trying. I keep doing all of these things and get NOTHING. Well, ok, sometimes I get signals of something, but as soon as I think we have taken one step forward, he takes 5 steps back.
I talked with one of my gay boys about it, and he said that he believes that it's a trust issue with him. Which I can believe that. Once you've been burned so many times, you are very hesitant on where you place your feelings. And he has been burned way too many times. I once told him that he has lead a sad little life. I really was kinda kidding but it's true.
The past couple of days or so, I've been doing the complete opposite than normal. I will usually approach him first and keep the conversation rolling. We get along great but sometimes I have to probe him with questions to keep him talking or else he will just stand there and look at me. But, the last two days, I've barely paid any attention to him at all. To which, he has been coming up to me any chance he gets asking what I'm doing and this and that. Today, he was making all kinds of strange faces at me. They were cute and adorable and I want to stop the not-giving-him-attention thing, but I just have to remind myself. It's hard...BLAH!
I just don't know what I want to do. He makes my heart swoon....and if I give that up, I don't know how long it will be before I have that again. Or will I ever have that again? It's becoming less and less frequent.
Anyway, moving on....I saw a preview for this movie and I really want to see it. It's called Perfume: A Story of a Murderer....here's the clip
I think the reason that I'm drawn to this movie is the whole smell thing. I so have it. I'm obsessed with smells. I love them. Especially when someone has one of those very unique smells. I'm horrible. There was once when I dated a guy, after we broke up (which I'm the one who ended it) I smelled him scent, and ended up crying the whole way home on the phone with Orange_Lily. I'm like that with the boy too. He has a great smell. Even today, I caught myself at one point while we were working, smelling him. I do it without thinking a lot of the time. I attach way too many emotions with smells.
Ok, I'm going to end this rambling now. You've probably all stopped reading 2 paragraphs ago......
I'm tired of all the bullshit that has been going on and trying to "catch him." I swear if he doesn't know that I like him, then he is fucking deaf and blind. I'm sick of trying. I keep doing all of these things and get NOTHING. Well, ok, sometimes I get signals of something, but as soon as I think we have taken one step forward, he takes 5 steps back.
I talked with one of my gay boys about it, and he said that he believes that it's a trust issue with him. Which I can believe that. Once you've been burned so many times, you are very hesitant on where you place your feelings. And he has been burned way too many times. I once told him that he has lead a sad little life. I really was kinda kidding but it's true.
The past couple of days or so, I've been doing the complete opposite than normal. I will usually approach him first and keep the conversation rolling. We get along great but sometimes I have to probe him with questions to keep him talking or else he will just stand there and look at me. But, the last two days, I've barely paid any attention to him at all. To which, he has been coming up to me any chance he gets asking what I'm doing and this and that. Today, he was making all kinds of strange faces at me. They were cute and adorable and I want to stop the not-giving-him-attention thing, but I just have to remind myself. It's hard...BLAH!
I just don't know what I want to do. He makes my heart swoon....and if I give that up, I don't know how long it will be before I have that again. Or will I ever have that again? It's becoming less and less frequent.
Anyway, moving on....I saw a preview for this movie and I really want to see it. It's called Perfume: A Story of a Murderer....here's the clip
I think the reason that I'm drawn to this movie is the whole smell thing. I so have it. I'm obsessed with smells. I love them. Especially when someone has one of those very unique smells. I'm horrible. There was once when I dated a guy, after we broke up (which I'm the one who ended it) I smelled him scent, and ended up crying the whole way home on the phone with Orange_Lily. I'm like that with the boy too. He has a great smell. Even today, I caught myself at one point while we were working, smelling him. I do it without thinking a lot of the time. I attach way too many emotions with smells.
Ok, I'm going to end this rambling now. You've probably all stopped reading 2 paragraphs ago......
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
orange_lily:
hehe! That is sooooo hilarious! I love it!
kytar1:
You know, that could be truly possible for him to be hesitant to let his feelings for you be known. He could have let his feeling flow to soon in the past and just wound up on the short end. Letting someone know that your interested in them and not having those feelings reciprocated can stop anyone cold in there tracks. Maybe its going to take time for him to really know its not fake feelings, that the two of you are really going to give it a valiant effort in make something work.